


The Homestuck Grand Shipping Challenge

by EchoEquinox



Series: The Grand Shipping Challenge [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-24
Updated: 2014-12-11
Packaged: 2018-02-22 11:57:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 31,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2506946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EchoEquinox/pseuds/EchoEquinox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My attempt to pair every single Homestuck with one another, resulting in about 528 different pairings.<br/>There will be spoilers, explicit content, and cursing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Table of Contents

**1/9/15 Update** : Hey everybody. So, due to technical and motivational issues, I'm delaying the hiatus another week. :( Sorry everybody. Happy Late New Year's and I promise: the 16th.

ONE-SHOT FRIDAY:  **JANUARY 16TH**

CONTINUOUS SERIES MONDAY:  **JANUARY 19TH**

**TABLE OF CONTENTS**   
**_ONE SHOTS_ **

**Chapter 1:**  [ _ **Blood Red Eyes**_](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2506946/chapters/5569241)  
(Karkat Vantas/Dave Strider) [Note: Revamp In Progress]

 **Chapter 2:**  [ _ **Jane: Proceed With Caution**_](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2506946/chapters/5569298)  
(Gamzee Makara/Jane Crocker)

 **Chapter 3:**  [ _ **A PurrFect Encounter**_](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2506946/chapters/5569319)  
(Cherubs/Nepeta Leijon)

 **Chapter 4:** ** _[Not Even in My Dreams](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2506946/chapters/5577656)_**  
(John Egbert/Rose Lalonde) [Note: Revamp In Progress]

 **Chapter 5:**   _ **[Shouldn't](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2506946/chapters/5577671)  
**_ (Karkat Vantas/Jade Harley)

 **Chapter 6:**   _ **[A Game](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2506946/chapters/5577716)  
**_ (Cherubs/Dirk Strider)

 **Chapter 7:**   _ **[Gmrz](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2506946/chapters/5577866)  
**_ (Mituna Captor/Latula Pyrope)

 **Chapter 8:**   _ **[Seahorsing Around](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2506946/chapters/5577887)  
**_ (Horrus Zahhak/Meenah Peixes)

 **Chapter 9:**   _ **[Umbral Seclusion](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2506946/chapters/5577926)  
**_ (Cherubs/Roxy Lalonde)

 **Chapter 10:**   _ **[The Great Lusus Heist](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2506946/chapters/5577956)  
**_ (Damara Megido/Cronus Ampora)

 **Chapter 11:**   _ **[The Clown  
](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2506946/chapters/5577968)**_ (Terezi Pyrope/Kurloz Makara)

 **Chapter 12:**   _ **[KidNEPped](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2506946/chapters/5577983)  
**_ (Nepeta Leijon/Meulin Leijon)

 ** **Chapter 13: _[Extended Relaxation](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2506946/chapters/5577998)  
_**** (Jane Crocker/Dirk Strider)

 **Chapter 14: _[Trick-Or-Treat](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2506946/chapters/5673101)  
_** (Roxy Lalonde/Eridan Ampora)

 **Chapter 15:[ _The House on the Hill_](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2506946/chapters/5673125)**  
(Rose Lalonde/Aranea Serket)

 **Chapter 16:**   _ **[Pizza Night](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2506946/chapters/6002909)  
**_ (Sollux Captor/Dirk Strider)

 **Chapter 17:**   _ **[Prisoner](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2506946/chapters/6002921)  
**_ (Rufioh Nitram/Aranea Serket)

 ** **Chapter 18: _[Cascading](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2506946/chapters/6003149)  
_**** (Rose Lalonde/Dave Strider)

 **Chapter 19: _[Castle Storming 101](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2506946/chapters/6003167)  
_** (Terezi Pyrope/Dave Strider)

 **Chapter 20:[ _Blue is the Warmest Color_](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2506946/chapters/6003206)**  
 _(_ Vriska Serket/Roxy Lalonde)

 **Chapter 21:[ _Post-Mini-Strife_](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2506946/chapters/6003266)**  
(Eridan Ampora/Cronus Ampora)

 

**CONTINUOUS SERIES**

**[THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS 2014](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2771864/chapters/6216461) ** [Complete: 13 Chapters]

 

[ **THE CULLING**](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2511407/chapters/5578262) [Complete: 2 Chapters]

[ **SKAIA HIGH**](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2511326/chapters/5578067) [Incomplete: 4 Chapters]

[ **ON THE BORDER**](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2683658/chapters/6002879) [Incomplete: 1 Chapter]


	2. Blood Red Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Dave and Karkat fight over a steamy romance novel.

Dave entered the room and glanced around. Rose had left her book open and she and Kanaya had snuck off somewhere. They seemed to be doing that a lot lately. Figures. Karkat had stuck around and was facing away from the door, fidgeting with something.

"Yo, nubs," Dave called. Karkat cried out, throwing whatever he was messing with under his pillow. "Seen Terezi or the mayor?"

"No! And don't fuckin' sneak up on people like that! What do you want Terezi and the mayor for?"

"Uh, I don't know, I'm like the secretary of Can Town or some shit. Mayorally appointed."

"Is mayorally even a word?" Dave shrugged and pointed at the pillow.

"What were you messing with?"

"Nothing. It's none of your business. Go away." Dave stepped closer and Karkat jumped onto the pillow. Dave gave him a look that could be read from behind his glasses.  _Are we going to go through this every time?_  "It's my shit and I deserve some privacy!"

"Yeah right." Dave threw him out of the way and reached under the pillow and pulled out a book. "Oh, it's one of your romfics? That's nothing new." He grimaced at the cover. "With your weird three-way troll relationships. What's the title?"

"It's 'Douchebags With Sunglasses Give the Troll Back His Book'."

"Sounds like fiction to me," Dave grinned.

"Give it back!"

"Why? I'm sure it's steamy, but that's not so bad." He flipped it open. "Whoa, hey, you grafitti'd all over in it. Wait." Karkat lunged and Dave sidestepped without looking away from the book. "You replaced some of the names with, what, names of people we know? The first chapter is about Rose and John?" He glanced at the troll. "What kind of shit is this?"

"It's nothing!"

"Jeez, something I'd expect more out of Nepeta. Huh. You got most of the human anatomy right. Except it ain't called a 'bulge' to us." He chuckled and Karkat lunged again. "Why are you so insistent? What's in this thing that I can't read?" He began flipping through pages. "Terezi and Vriska, Kanaya and Rose and John... Squarewave and Maplehoof? You're fuckin' sick, man."

"GIVE IT-"

"Oh. OH. Now I see why you didn't want me reading. 'Dave's lips caressed the troll's neck as his hands made his way to his waist. "Oh gog, Karkat," he said and'-"

"STOP READING MY SHIT!" Karkat managed to connect a successful tackle and knock Dave to the ground.

"Agh, fuck!" Karkat knocked Dave's glasses to the ground and pinned him by his shoulders. The two froze, both locked onto each other's blood red eyes.

"Y-your eyes..." Karkat muttered.

"So are yours," Dave replied. The two were silent for a moment. Upon later recollection, each would blame each other, but slowly, the two leaned in and kissed softly. After a few moments, Karkat pulled back.

"I- I don't- what are we-?"

"Sloppy human-troll makeouts," Dave replied, pulling him back into the kiss. Karkat resisted for a brief moment before returning the kiss, more passionately this time, Karkat's hands resting on Dave's shoulders as Dave's moved to Karkat's hips.

"Oh, gog, Karkat," Dave grinned.

"Fuck you, Strider," Karkat panted, kissing harder. Dave rolled so that he had Karkat pinned as his lips moved down the troll's neck. Karkat looked away, flushing and gritting his teeth in the terrible realization of just how badly he wanted the thing he tried to prevent so often.

Finally, Dave stopped and chuckled, shaking his head and putting on his glasses.

"What? Why'd you stop?"

"An audience." Karkat froze and turned to see Kanaya frozen in place, eyes wide, Rose grinning, and Terezi sniffing and licking the air desperately to see what had taken place.

"What? What is it, what are we looking at?" Terezi demanded. "I smell Dave and Karkat."

"Oh, nothing, Terezi," Rose chuckled. "Don't worry about it."

"Kanaya, what is it?" the blind troll begged.

"I don't- What-?" Rose just laughed, leading the two towards the exit.

"Hurry up, if you would," Rose told them, "I need to work on our biography and this is the best room to write in." She held up a green tome labeled R.L. and left the room.

"What just happened?" Karkat demanded.

"Shut up," Dave replied, silencing him with another kiss. "She told us to hurry up. Let's get to it, then."

 

_**As a side note, this chapter has a revamp planned, I simply haven't gotten around to it yet.** _


	3. Jane: Proceed With Caution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane finds herself on the Land of Crypts and Helium, and is greeted by a strange new face.

**[This chapter is written in a Choose Your Own Adventure style format, but with 2a, 2b, etc. instead of page numbers]**

A friendly clown welcomes you to LOCAH. It seems he would like to be your guide. Would you like to let him be your guide?

NO [Proceed to  **Chapter 2a** ]

FUCK NO [Proceed to  **Chapter**   **2a** ]

 

[ **Chapter 2a** ]

You cautiously approach your new guide. Wait, you said you didn't want him to be your guide?The friendly clown strongly advises you to reconsider. (You do not reconsider.)

You ask him who he is, but he maintains his cryptic, serene expression in perfect silence. You give some though to sliding away from the awkward encounter and go inside, when the clown finally speaks up.

He wants to know if you want to buy these motherfuckin potions.

You examine the clown's wares with due skepticism. He assures you that all of these wicked elixers are motherfuckin magic and all that. The clown sure likes to say motherfuck a lot. It's kind of making you uneasy, yet, in a strange way, attracted to his aloofness.

Examine the Friendly Clown

The first question that pops into your head while examining this fellow of course is, where did he get that outrageous outfit? You don't really have the gumption to ask, but if you had to take a wild guess, you are almost certain the answer would be hand-waved away with the word "shenanigans." See, look? He is waving his hand preemptively, as if reading your mind. Truly, this clown is wise.

[ **Potion Registry** ]

Examine the Bronze Potion (420 Boondollars) [Proceed to  **Chapter 2b** ]

Examine the Fuschia Potion (420 Boondollars) [Proceed to  **Chapter 2c** ]

Examine the Indigo Potion (420 Boondollars) [Proceed to  **Chapter 2d** ]

Examine the Olive Potion (420 Boondollars) [Proceed to  **Chapter 2e** ]

Examine the Violet Potion (420 Boondollars) [Proceed to  **Chapter 2f** ]

Examine the Cobalt Potion (420 Boondollars) [Proceed to  **Chapter 2g** ]

Examine the Gold Potion (420 Boondollars) [Proceed to  **Chapter 2h** ]

Examine the Mysterious Potion (? Boondollars) [Proceed to  **Chapter 2i** ]

 

[ **Chapter 2b** ]

The clown says one sip of this potion will cause you to lose the use of your legs. HOWEVER, you will become an EXCELLENT kisser. A trade that is more than motherfuckin fair, he says. Personally, you think someone would have to be suicidal to drink that heinous brown liquid.

Buy Bronze Potion?

Yes [Proceed to  **Chapter 2b1** ]

No [Proceed to  **Chapter 2b2** ]

 

[ **Chapter 2b1** ]

You buy 1 BRONZE POTION. It's like a brown nightmare in a bottle. When the clown isn't looking, you chuck it over the side of your house-cliff.

[Backtrack to  **Potion Registry** ]

 

[ **Chapter 2b2** ]

Absolutely not. The clown appears crestfallen, then counters with another offer: buy one bottle, get one free! You scowl at him as if he is quite mad. He gets the picture. You're not interested. He then gives you a few bottles of the stuff and says he'll just put it on your tab, no worries. ;o)

[Backtrack to  **Potion Registry** ]

 

[ **Chapter 2c** ]

This lovely looking potion is supposed to have powerful healing properties. A must-have in the inventory in an up and coming Maid of Life.

Buy Fuschia Potion?

Yes [Proceed to  **Chapter 2c1** ]

No [Proceed to  **Chapter 2c2** ]

 

[ **Chapter 2c1** ]

You acquiesce to a single FUSCHIA POTION. Yippee. Pointless pink slop.

[Backtrack to  **Potion Registry** ]

 

[ **Chapter 2c2** ]

You don't want it. But the clown REALLY thinks you should take at least one of these handy elixirs. He won't take no for an answer. You say fine and buy a few just to shut him up.

[Backtrack to  **Potion Registry** ]

 

[ **Chapter 2d** ]

He says this potion will make you STRONG. You guess it would probably be pretty handy to be STRONG. Except that it's probably bullshit and the potion probably doesn't do that at all.

Buy Indigo Potion?

Yes [Proceed to  **Chapter 2d1** ]

No [Proceed to  **Chapter 2d1** ]

 

[ **Chapter 2d1** ]

You buy an INDIGO POTION and shrug. Now THERE'S something you won't be drinking anytime soon.

[Backtrack to  **Potion Registry** ]

 

[ **Chapter 2d2** ]

He looks taken aback that you would refuse such a valuable commodity. He says no, you gotta buy this motherfuckin shit. It's the hottest noise since a big tittied ninja. Ok, whatever you say, clown, here's your stupid Boondollars. He gives you like 50 of these things. Jesus Christ.

[Backtrack to  **Potion Registry** ]

 

[ **Chapter 2e** ]

This gross looking pea soup elixir is touted as a powerful love potion! Just sneak a few drops into the beverage of your object of affection, and he or she will fall head over heels for you. Literally, in the event that your sweetheart-to-be is decapitated. You are very wary of this claim, of course, but... you guess it couldn't hurt to have ONE bottle on hand.

Buy Olive Potion?

Yes [Proceed to  **Chapter 2e1** ]

No [Proceed to  **Chapter 2e2** ]

 

[ **Chapter 2e1** ]

You buy 1 OLIVE POTION. Ugh, this stuff looks nasty. You are going to have to sneak it into an especially strong drink if you don't want Jake to notice. Wait, did you say Jake? You mean of course hypothetically any person you would give this to, strictly in the name of science. Uh. Yeah. This conversation is over!

[Backtrack to  **Potion Registry** ]

 

[ **Chapter 2e2** ]

You refuse, but the clown spots the look of longing in your eye, and knows a lovestruck lady when he sees one. The kind fellow gives you 1 OLIVE POTION on the house. You blush a little and say thank you.

[Backtrack to  **Potion Registry** ]

 

[ **Chapter 2f** ]

This potion is to be imbibed by anyone who wants to exhibit unabated lust for all he or she encounters, as well as to behave like more of a douchebag. You wonder why anyone would want that. He gives you a sly wink, and says nothing more. You say no thanks. He asks if you want to buy it anyway.

Buy the Violet Potion?

Yes [Proceed to  **Chapter 2f1** ]

No [Proceed to  **Chapter 2f2** ]

 

[ **Chapter 2f1** ]

You snap up a VIOLET POTION. Sure, why the hell not. Might as well round out your collection of useless slime.

[Backtrack to  **Potion Registry** ]

 

[ **Chapter 2f2** ]

You ask him if he's flipped his friggin' cod piece. Of course you don't want it. He says, ah, but you must. He insists. He gives you 20 bottles for free. Then he says that will be whatever 420 times 20 boondollars is. You let out a heavy sigh, say fine, and fork over the money.

[Backtrack to  **Potion Registry** ]

 

[ **Chapter 2g** ]

He claims this potion endows the drinker with incredible luck! Then he does a stupid looking jig on your fridge, clicking the heels of his dumb elf shoes. You find that a bit hard to swallow. Not because it's implausible, but because that blue muck is straight up nasty. He doesn't get the joke.

Buy the Cobalt Potion?

Yes [Proceed to  **Chapter 2g1** ]

No [Proceed to  **Chapter 2g2** ]

 

[ **Chapter 2g1** ]

He tucks another 420 of your hard earned loot into his cavernous codpiece and gives you a bottle of the blue stuff. Good motherfuckin choice, he says. You roll your eyes.

[Backtrack to  **Potion Registry** ]

 

[ **Chapter 2g2** ]

In a motion so swift you don't even follow, he grabs your hand, pushes a bottle of cobalt into your palm, and closes your fingers around it. As you begin to object, he puts his fingers to your lips and whispers shoosh. That'll be 420 motherfuckin boonies, yo.

[Backtrack to  **Potion Registry** ]

 

[ **Chapter 2h** ]

This sickly mustard goo is supposed to make your hacking skills go bananas. Like you would ever care about that. He says not so fast though, for its benefits are TWOFOLD. It also makes a killer substitute for grub sauce in a pinch.

Buy the Gold Potion?

Yes [Proceed to  **Chapter 2h1** ]

No [Proceed to  **Chapter 2h2** ]

 

[ **Chapter 2h1** ]

Whatever. You buy one, flip the clown another cool 420. You wonder why they're all that price? What's the deal with that number, anyway? Poor, naïve Jane. You have no idea that number culturally means SMOKIN WEED, and how stoners think it's funny. You are a smart girl, but there are some things you don't understand, and that makes you more endearing.

[Backtrack to  **Potion Registry** ]

 

[ **Chapter 2h2** ]

You tell this clown to take a long walk off a short cliff. He pretends not to hear you and restates his offer. You are getting kind of fed up with this idiot so you purchase yet more useless bottles of liquid. Are we done here bro?

[Backtrack to  **Potion Registry** ]

 

[ **Chapter 2i** ]

The potion is full of lime green and red liquid. You ask what it does and the clown simply grins and tells you that you can sample one, free of charge. Plus 420 boondollars.

Sample the Mysterious Potion?

Yes [Proceed to  **Chapter 2i1** ]

No [Proceed to  **Chapter 2i2** ]

 

[ **Chapter 2i1** ]

You decide it can't hurt – or at least, not that much. You take a swig and immediately feel your head start to spin. The last thing you see before you black out is the clown's huge grin, his ridiculous outfit, and that enormous, transfixing codpiece...

... [Proceed to  **Chapter 2j** ]

 

[ **Chapter 2i2** ]

You tell the clown no, but he frowns and insists that it's FREE. He pushes several bottles into your arms and tells you if you drink at least one of the three bottles, he won't charge you for any additional bottles you may choose to buy – discounting the first three. You give up and take a drink, immediately feeling your head start to spin. The last thing you see before you black out is the clown's huge grin, his ridiculous outfit, and that enormous, transfixing codpiece...

... [Proceed to  **Chapter 2j** ]

 

[ **Chapter 2j** ]

You awaken in one of the caves you'd previously explored. There are a few rays of light shining through holes in the ceiling and they're near blinding with the headache you're experiencing. At least, you think it's a headache. What else could it be?

As you look around, shapes begin to shift and clouds of smoke drift through the air. They form shapes of Jake and Dirk and the clown's grinning face. You wipe your eyes but the smoke moves closer, engulfing you in a sweet smelling cloud of purple before you find yourself in a room with the strange clown.

He tells you motherfuckin hey, and you reply in kind, giggling at the way the word "motherfuck" rolls off your tongue. As if reading your mind, he asks if you like the way the word rolls of your tongue, and tells you he has something else that'll roll off your tongue. You agree.

Poor, naïve Jane.

The codpiece comes off and you gasp at what you've only read about on those fanfiction forums before. He gives that goofy grin and you can't help but giggle as you move closer on your hands and knees. His gray hand is soft in your hair – why is his hand gray, anyway? - and you slowly wrap your mouth around his hard member, bobbing up and down. It feels large and clumsy in your mouth, but tastes faintly of... fruit? Some sort of pie, perhaps. You don't know, but you continue moving up and down as his hands guide you.

Finally he pulls off and grins, bending you over the fridge and pulling off your pants. You attempt to scold the naughty clown, but his fingers are probing you where they shouldn't be and you can't feel your head. Not that you could before, but now it's much, much more intoxicating. You lie down and allow him to do as he wishes before he rubs that thick member against you. You frown and tell him you've never done this. He says don't motherfuckin worry, he'll be gentle.

He slides into you and you grunt and moan loud, wincing as he stretches you. He just grins and starts moving in and out. After a few moments your muscles relax (more than they already were) and it feels better. You sigh happily and allow the clown to do as he wishes as you breathe in the smoke and puff out different pictures and giggle.

After a little while, he releases a short grunt and you suddenly feel very full. You frown and turn back at him, scolding him for not warning you earlier and he simply shrugs and grins. You feel very tired again and lie your face against the fridge as you black out.

You jerk awake and look at the clown, who simply grins. You ask what he did and he looks rather offended, saying nothing and shaking his head. You chalk it up to the strange potion having worked its "magic" on you and realize you feel very sore, but satisfied. You take three more just in case and glare at him. He grins.

"honk."


	4. A PurrFect Encounter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Calliope decides to take a nap while writing a bit of fanfiction- I mean, "historical fiction".

Calliope tapped her orange nails over the keyboard lightly, not particularly pressing anything. She sighed; she hadn't had any ideas at all for her fanfiction about the kids lately. She frowned and opened her GREEN TOME.

It detailed all of the things about the kids from the original session of SBURB, several years before Jane, Jake, Dirk, and Roxy – including four kids of very similar namesakes and twelve trolls. She did love reading about the trolls. She thumbed through as the author made witty remarks about each of the twelve, speaking most fondly about a troll named Kanaya Maryam and least fondly about two trolls named Gamzee Makara and Vriska Serket. Vriska seemed mostly misunderstood and sad about her role in troll culture – a topic Calliope had extensively studied – and Gamzee seemed simply too high out of his mind most of the time to care much about anything. Until the incident, of course. It was very vague, but the references to the Subjugglators were enough to give Calliope chills.

She tried to fit herself into their caste system; she had lime blood, so she'd be... between Kanaya and Nepeta Leijon, a troll that acted much like a cat, prowling across the Alternian landscape, hunting game.

She smiled at the happy thoughts, lying her head in her hands and drifting off into a daydream.

* * *

She was in her dream world – her version of Alternia, in which she was Callie Ohpeee. She was in a hive she didn't recognize and slowly got to her feet from the hay "bed" she'd been sleeping on. She stretched and cracked her back as she looked around the hive. It was more a cave than a normal hive, but it was a home nonetheless.

There was a crackling hearth, over which the corpses of hunted animals cooked, filling the room in a rich aroma. There was a Grubtop sitting in one corner, beeping at the noise of incoming messages. The walls were adored with what appeared to be hundreds of symbols with faces inside. Clubs, Spades, Hearts, Diamonds – each with the faces of Nepeta and her twelve friends. Above all others there was a large red heart containing Nepeta and a very short-horned troll kissing.

Callie smiled and dragged her orange fingernails across the wall gently, making sure not to disturb the drawing. Suddenly, there was a noise. Callie spun to see a troll, glaring with deep olive eyes, her recently killed prey dropping from her jaws to reveal bloodstained teeth.

"N-N-N-" Callie sputtered, not able to form the words. The troll's claws came out and she released a savage growl, lunging at the young lime-blooded troll. Callie squealed, dodging out of the way as Nepeta crumpled against the bottom of her precious Shipping Wall.

"What do you want!" she growled. "Get out!"

"P-p-p-p-please!" Callie cried. Nepeta lunged again, slicing against the troll's arm as she dodged. Callie cried out and grabbed her slashed arm, Nepeta growling and looking between her claws and the wounded troll. Nepeta softly sniffed the lime blood on her claws, then stared at the troll, steely glare still transfixed.

"What do you want?" Nepeta repeated.

"J-j-just to talk!" Callie whimpered. Nepeta's eyes still locked with Callie's, she sat back on her haunches.

"What's your name?"

"C-Callie Ohpeee." Nepeta raised an eyebrow. "Three Es in Ohpeee." Nepeta ignored this and moved to a cupboard where she retrieved a roll of gauze.

"Come here, Callie." The lime-blooded troll cautiously did as she was told as Nepeta unrolled some of the gauze and shredded the end with her claws before wrapping it around Callie's wounded arm. "I'm sorry I hurt you. I was afraid you were here to hurt me. A predator can never be too careful." Nepeta gave a grin and the glare behind her eyes slowly dulled into a friendly stare. Callie gave a weak smile and nodded. "So your name is Callie Ohpeee?" Callie nodded. "Strange name. Even by a lime-blood's standards." Callie blushed a soft shade of green.

"Yes, well... I didn't pick it, haha. I sure would feel the fool if I did!" Nepeta cocked her head.

"You have a strange accent."

"It's a Briti-... It's... not from around here." Nepeta nodded and sat by her Grubtop.

"That makes sense. I mean, there aren't a lot of lime-bloods around here at all. So I figure you weren't from here." Callie sat behind her and watched as she typed quickly before turning from her computer. When the two were finally face to face, Callie realized just how attractive Nepeta was. She knew she was feeling some sort of positive feelings – either red or flushed – but she couldn't tell. She wasn't very good at deciphering her daydream feelings, the ones she couldn't feel in real life.

"So, uh," Nepeta started, scratching her neck as she began to flush olive and Callie averted her gaze to the floor. "How did you get in?"

"I, um... don't know? Haha. I just kind of... woke up here." Nepeta frowned and studied Callie, tugging her face up to meet Nepeta's. "Wh-what-what are-?" Nepeta silenced the troll with a kiss and Callie's eyes opened wide, fists clenching at the surprise. Nepeta kissed her and slowly moved back, Callie's lips reluctant to leave them. "Why did... you...?"

"I think I like you," Nepeta said softly. Callie's breath caught in her throat.  _I like you too_ , she wanted to say, but she couldn't bring herself to say anything except release a little sigh. Nepeta took this as an acceptance and a reply and softly kissed Callie again, deeper this time, sharp little teeth grazing her lip, then neck, then collarbone. Callie's hands ran through Nepeta's black hair, removing her blue cat-hat and softly tracing her fingers along her horns. Nepeta groaned into Callie's neck as she softly ran her claws along the front of Callie's shirt revealing her shapely breasts and three thin scratches along the troll's chest, releasing a light ooze of lime green blood. Nepeta's hands moved to Callie's chest and she sighed, rolling her head back.

She knew the significance of human breasts, as they were mammalian and used them to feed their young. But as creatures that were more akin to insects than mammals, she couldn't figure out why troll females had them. Were they simply vestigial – perhaps some earlier evolutionary state used them before the queen began using the drones to root out the worst genes? Were they for stimulation only? Nepeta's lips and teeth seemed bent on showing Callie THAT possibility was highly probable – perhaps for attracting the best mates on how well they could stimulate them.

These thoughts were racing through Callie's mind, however, for every fleeting thought on the anatomy of trolls were a hundred thoughts screaming, "MATE WITH HER, MATE WITH HER". She didn't understand the hormonal impulse, but she knew she couldn't deny it any longer. She imitated Nepeta's advance, kissing and nibbling the olive-blooded troll's neck and moving along her chest and collarbone, kissing and licking her chest as the two groaned and rolled around on the floor of Nepeta's hive. Then, as quickly as the fleeting, perfect moment had come upon them-

* * *

It had passed, leaving Calliope dazed and confused staring down at her keyboard. Dazed and confused as she was, she began typing furiously, a beautiful new fanfiction idea fresh in her mind.

 


	5. Not Even in My Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John's thoughts on the girl he dreams about.

I never met you. Not even in my dreams. I always wanted to, man... When I fell asleep, I'd hold on to our conversations and wish I could see you, I'd focus on pictures I'd seen of you, so far away in your forest house with your mom. So strange how secluded you always lived, and yet you were still so sociable with us.

When I dreamed, it was movies or harlequins, and later, Prospit. But never you. You were never there, no matter how badly I wanted you, or needed you. When times were getting hard, I was always hoping I'd open my eyes and see you smiling there, that sarcastic snarky grin you wore in your pictures. You'd say something like, "C'mon, sleepyhead, get up – we have a world to save" and I'd follow you to the end of the world, but it never happened. I never woke up and saw you there, you were never there to comfort me and let me comfort you... though you were never the one to be comforted, were you?

No, you were always the one to psychoanalyze us (whatever that means) and help us get through our own problems. You were indirectly there, all the time, helping us through our issues and making us make ourselves better people – but what about you? You always talked about your passive-aggressive mom and your issues with your cat Jasper or whatever, but you never let us in. Never let anyone in. Maybe that's why we're here. Or maybe I don't know what I'm talking about – both very probable possibilities.

I keep hoping I'll close my eyes and wake up at home, in bed, that this was all a bad dream. Heck, maybe it still is... I just don't know. It sure seems like a bad dream. People have died – heck, I died once – the horrorterrors, you all... grimdarky. I don't know what all is going on anymore, but it seems like I just keep falling deeper into a bad dream. Maybe if I wake up, things will be okay, and we can meet like I always dreamed we would. Not like this.

Rose... I always wanted to see you. Always. Your pictures held me in the grip of something I'd never felt before. More than friendship, more than just liking you. It was something else altogether. Just seeing you, talking to you; I wanted to meet you so bad. The one time before that I saw you, you were asleep on LOLAR and I was passing through. So little time has passed and yet so much as changed since then. What's become of us? What has the game turned us into?

Jeez, Rose, I thought we were gonna play a relaxing game. SBURB was supposed to be a way I could get closer to you without having to dodge around all that edgy "talking" stuff, we could just play and be happy together, you know? And now what are we? I'm a mythical hero and you're some beast of legend...

Rose. I never met you. Not even in my dreams. But now what's happened? Here we are in the castle of the black king, I'm the Heir of Breath and you're some messenger of the horrorterrors at the edge of the galaxy, following a mission of revenge for something I can't even understand you talking about. Here we are, I can finally see you, finally meet you, finally talk to you and I can't even understand a word you're saying. The saddest part? This is the happiest I've ever been, Rose. I'm so happy to finally meet you.

_**As a side note, this chapter has a revamp planned, I simply haven't gotten around to it yet.** _


	6. Shouldn't

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jade really shouldn't.

Her breath came to her in heavy, panting puffs. Her eyes were half-closed in anticipation, her body heated to the point where she could nearly feel her blood boiling. She gripped his black shirt in her hands as his lips and teeth explored her neck. She could feel every pinprick of his sharpened teeth as they softly broke the surface, leaving little red dots along her jawline and across her shoulders. She was clad only in her white bra and panties with the blue atom logo across them, while he wore only a black shirt and gray boxers over his dark gray skin.

"K-Karkat," she muttered. Her words were lost as his lips met hers and he held her face, kissing her with something between passion and intimacy - between intensity and gentleness. She could feel his breath hot on her skin as he broke the kiss softly. "Karkat..." she muttered again. His eyes met hers. He was still young on his planet - roughly only as old as Jade - and so the ring around his pupil was only just beginning to show. A thin red ring only noticable if you were as close to him as Jade was. "We... we shouldn't..." His expression changed drastically from intense anticipation and pleasure to hurt. "N-no, it's not because I don't like you... I just... I don't know... about this. About us. About if we'll work. About-"

"Shh," he papped her. She blinked. "Shut up."

"What-?"

"Shut up, fuckass." He turned back to kissing her and she fell limp against him as he continued. His hand slid down her back and fumbled with the clasp on her bra. After a few frustrated seconds of not being able to undo it, he groaned and turned her away, undoing the bra. She blushed and her hand went up to cover her breasts as he turned her back around.

"What?" he asked.

"What what?"

"You're covering yourself?"

"Yes? I don't want you to see them." He blinked.

"What?"

"WHAT what?"

"Don't want me to see what?" He reached for her and she recoiled. A mischevious look dawned on his face before he pinned her up against the wall. She let out a gasp, then a soft moan and turned her face away, now beet red, as he examined her body, drinking in every detail. "What are those?" he asked softly.

"D-don't stare," she whimpered. He moved down and softly kissed her nipple and she cooed instinctually from being pleased. "S-stop...!" He knew the tone of her voice meant the exact opposite of what she'd said so instead he began to lick and nibble them softly. She writhed underneath him. She panted and gasped and clawed at his back, finally tearing his shirt off. "You... you don't have them?"

"Have what?" he asked, looking at his bare chest.

"Nipples," she said, blushing at the word. He snorted, then laughed out loud. "What? What's so funny?"

"That stupid fucking word. 'Nipples'? Is that what these are?" She blushed and huffed.

"Yes, as a matter of fact they are!" He tweaked one and she gasped loudly.

"I'll find a better word for them later." He continued nibbling them and she moaned, running her hands along his chest. She took the edge of his boxers in his hands and swallowed before slowly pulling them down. She let out a soft breath. She'd watched "hentai" of some of her favorite animes, but Karkat looked so much better. Thankfully, human and troll anatomy was close enough that he appeared to have the same sort of genitalia that humans did.

"Is it wrong?" he asked.

"N-no. I- I don't think so. I've never been this close to a human guy." Karkat nodded, his face flushing a light pink. She reached out a tentative hand and wrapped it around his length. He let out a soft hissing noise through clenched teeth but didn't make any move of recoil. She slowly moved her hand along his length and he grunted, eyes closing as his breath came in soft, shallow puffs.

"Is this good?" she whispered. He nodded and grunted, stroking her hair and pulling at it lightly. She knew what he wanted, and nervous as she was, she slowly and shakily got onto her knees, opening her mouth and letting her tongue run over his tip. He hissed again, grip on her hair tightening then loosening when she didn't let up. She took a deep breath then looked up at him as she took him into her mouth and throat. He gasped and gripped her head, holding her and her eyes widened when she feared she'd choke. He let go and she pulled off, gasping.

"Do- do you want to stop?" he asked. She didn't respond, but instead tried again at taking him into her mouth all the way. He didn't grab her this time, but his fists simply clenched at his side until his knuckles were white - or at least very light grey. She moved up and down, feeling him thick in her throat as she groaned, making soft noises as she moved, finally pulling off, panting, feeling herself dripping wet now. It wasn't like she hadn't touched herself before, but in the presence of someone else, both of them fully exposed, she felt so out of place.

But she laid back anyway. She moaned and kicked off her panties, her eyes begging him for more. He knelt above her, lips and teeth moving along her chest and sides before he was on all fours on top of her, both of them breathing heavily, lust in their eyes and their breath hot on each others faces.

"We shouldn't," she whispered. Karkat grinned.

"That's why it's so good." She cried out.


	7. A Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "DO YOu WANT TO PLAY A GAME?"

"HEY DIRK. DO YOu WANT TO PLAY A GAME?"

Dirk groaned and awoke slowly. He'd had enough run ins with the Condesce's minions to recognize chloroform, and a variety of other drugs. This didn't seem right.

His head was pounding and his body was sore. He reached out to his dream self on Derse, finding that, for once in his life, he couldn't awaken it.

"TRYING TO WAKE uP DREAM DIRK? NOT GONNA HAPPEN, COOL GuY." The voice had a strange hitch, as if every soft "U" sound was spit with hatred. "NOW, DO YOu WANT TO PLAY A GAME?"

Dirk finally found that he could move his body again, but the body in question was bruised and battered. Even during an ambush, Squarewave or Sawtooth would've had his back. What was happening?

"Yes," Dirk replied, grimacing at his dry and scratchy voice. "I'll play a game."

"HA. HA. HA. GOOD. YOu MAY EVEN WIN - MINuS MY TWIST AT THE END!" Dirk didn't like the sound of that. "GET uP." Dirk complied.

The room was a dark gray colour and there was a bed - upon which Dirk lay - and a door to the next room. "IF YOu WANT TO SAVE YOuR FRIENDS, PROCEED." Dirk did as he was asked and entered the next room. A glass wall separated him from Roxy.

"Roxy!" he cried, beating on the glass.

"I WOuLDNT DO THAT. SHE'S ASLEEP, AND WHEN SHE WAKES uP..." Dirk saw the mechanism hooked up to her. It was apparent that, if she moved, it would kill her rather quickly and messily.

"Alright, you fuck, fine. This is some Saw shit? What do I do to save her before she wakes up?" A panel opened in the ground and a drawing tablet appeared.

"YOu ARE GOING TO DRAW ME SOME PICTuRES, DIRK. VERY... SMuTTY PICTuRES."

"Alright, yeah, sure. I can do that." He picked up the pen, awaiting instruction.

"DRAW THE ROXY BITCH AND YOuRSELF GIVING A HuMAN... HuG." Dirk paused.

"A hug?"

"IF YOu CAN'T DO IT YOu COuLD JuST WATCH THAT BITCH DIE."

"Alright, jeez." He focused all of his artistic prowess into the hug. The placement of the arms, the pressing bodies. Even a nuzzle. It was vulgar.

"Done," he said. The tablet retracted into the room and the mechanism deactivated.

"VERY GOOD. AND WITH ONLY... THREE SECONDS LEFT." Seconds?! He hadn't realized it was timed. He'd have to be quicker. He moved into the next room where Jane was strewn up in a similar contraption.

"Alright, what do I do to save her?" He asked. A panel opened in the floor. Unsurprisingly, a tablet lifted. "Oh for the love of-"

"DON'T GET SO FRuSTRATED, DAVE."

"Dave?"

"DIRK. I SAID DIRK. DRAW THE ROXY BITCH AND THE JANE BITCH DOING A HuMAN... KISS."

"A kiss? Dude, I draw hentai. This really the whole game, me drawing you stupid softcore porn of my friends?"

"I DON'T RECOGNIZE THE WORD HENTAI. NOW DRAW!" Dirk sighed, putting less effort into this picture but hurrying due to the unseen time constraint.

"Happy?"

"YES. GOOD. NOW, ONE MORE CHAMBER." One more? That would mean-

Dirk sprinted, forcing open the door. Lying on a bed was a green figure in a green jacket.

"What is this?" He circled her. "Do I draw some smut of this skull monster? Actually, it looks really familiar. The weird skull thing."

"SHuT uP. NOW KISS HER."

"Kiss? This thing?"

"JuST DO IT YOu MORON." Dirk grimaced but kissed her.

"Happy?"

"HA. HA. HA. HA. HA. HA. VERY GOOD WORK, DIRK. NOW FOR THE TWIST."

"Oh yeah."

"SEE, A VERSION OF THIS GIRL IS DEAD. THE DREAM SELF."

"Alright?"

"BY KISSING HER, YOu SENT HER REAL SELF TO REVIVE THE DREAM BODY."

"...alright?"

"WHERE I'LL KILL HER AGAIN! HA. HA. HA."

"Can I go home?"

"DO YOu NOT EVEN CARE ABOuT YOuR DEAR FRIEND CALLIOPE?"

"Nah. I just want to go home."

"YOu'RE AS BLOODTHIRSTY AS ME. MAYBE I JuDGED YOu WRONG, DAVE."

"Dirk."

"RIGHT. THAT. PLEASANT DREAMS."

* * *

He awoke in his room with a splitting headache.

"Ugh... what a nightmare." He rolled over and fell back asleep.


	8. Gmrz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No one does well on the first few tries.

"It's alright, Mituna, try again."

"Ugh, gog thisstupidfuckingskateboardi sapieceofshitGOGDAMNITWHY-" Latula winced as Mituna slammed face-first into the ground once more, skidding a bit before coming to a stop, groaning.

"Are you okay?" she asked, rushing to his side. He grumbled something into the ground. "What?" He rolled over, the front of his helmet broken.

"YeahmyheadisfinebutIbrokemys tupidfuckinghelmetugh-"

"Shh." Latula smiled, removing the helmet. He blinked in the harsh light, but smiled back.

"I'm sorry," he muttered.

"Oh, no, Mituna, don't be sorry. You did nothing wrong." He perked up a bit.

"Really?" She smiled lovingly, pulling her arm around his neck and kissing his forehead.

"Of course not." He smiled and flushed a dull yellow color, scratching his neck awkwardly. "Now want to try that rail grind again?"

"No," he replied, downtrodden. "Illprobablyjustbreakthestuip dgogdamnboardagainifItrystup idboard..."

"Hey, now, don't get mad at the board. Never get mad at the board. You just need more practice. But we can go back and fix this helmet, maybe grab a bite to eat before trying again. Alright?" He nodded sullenly and she helped him up, taking his arm as they headed across the Derse/Prospit dream bubble bridge to their hive.

* * *

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* * *

Latula hummed softly as she prepared lunch for her and Mituna. Er. Dinner. Breakfast? She sighed. Dream bubbles were hard enough when you DIDN'T think about time. In fact, the only one who could stand time at all was Damara, and Latula hadn't heard much from her in a while.

"HolyshitIamsohungryLatulaist hefooddoneyet?" Mituna demanded. Latula sighed. After the incident, Mituna had become demanding and prone to accidents. But that didn't stop her from thinking he was the raddest troll in the dream bubble. Accidents or not, Latula knew she couldn't help her red feelings for him.

"In a second, Mituna," she replied. He nodded, smiling contently. She sighed. If only Kurloz would speak of the incident. Tell them what happened. Latula would have found peace in that, at least. But he refused. "Here we go," she smiled, handing him his plate. He beamed. The plate would have, on Beforus, been an expensive delicacy - and a delicious one, at that - that the two would've never been able to afford.

"Macaroni and cheese, topped with cotton candy," she smiled.

"Latulathislooksdeliciousshit thankyou!" he exclaimed, beginning to eat wildly. She chuckled, watching him, and ate hers as well. He finished before she did, holding his helmet. "Latula," he said, speaking slowly, "do you get mad at me?" She started.

"What? What do you mean, Mituna?"

"Im not like normal people after the accident. I fall down alot and I have trouble thinking straight and sometimes I say things I shouldnt. Do you get mad at me?"

"Mituna, come here." She gestured for him to sit across from her. He set the cracked helmet on the table and sat.

"Whoever told you that is wrong. Was it Cronus? Ooh, if it was Cronus I'm gonna have a talk with him." She grimaced.

"NoLatulaitwasntCronusitsokay reallyIpromiseImsorry..."

"Hey. Hey." She cupped his cheeks and pulled his gaze to her. "Don't apologize to me. You don't ever have to apologize to me. I'll always forgive you." He blushed lightly.

"Really?"

"Really." She leaned in, kissing him softly and he returned the kiss. She smiled lightly. He had issues, she knew that, and she accepted it. But sometimes, she could feel the old Mituna still there. He nipped down her neck and she smiled, sighing gently, feeling the old Mituna. He always knew exactly what to do.

His lips moved down her neck to her collarbone, nipping lightly as she sighed softly. Finally, she pulled him to another kiss and smiled.

"You want to go 'lay down'?" He grinned and nodded. "Come on."


	9. Seahorsing Around

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meenah's bathtime is interrupted.

Meenah was dead. It was both a fact both depressing and invigorating all at once. They'd escaped the total erasure of what may have happened through the Scratch, as well as surviving inside a dream bubble, which was exciting. However, they were all dead, which was not so exciting.

She sighed as she heard the knock at her large double doors, shaking her head. That was the thing about being dead. It wasn't even the whole "being dead" part that had her irritated. She donned a violet robe and stormed down the stairs of her castle and into the front lobby, opening a door.

"What," she demanded curtly. Outside, Horrus stood in his typical workshop outfit, leather hat and apron, goggles covering his downcast eyes.

"Oh, your highness, I'm terribly sorry for the intrusion," he began, already dabbing his forehead of sweat. She sighed.

"It's fine, Horrus, what do you need?"

"I was just- are you- is that robe-?"

"I'm naked, Horrus. What did you want?"

"I- I- I'm- so sorry, your hi-" She slammed the door shut, storming back up the stairs. She wouldn't have minded if Aranea had interrupted her, but it was another thing entirely for that hemospectrum-obsessed horse-freak to bother her. She tossed the robe off, settling back into the bathtub, smiling warmly as she sank into the warm water, breathing in deeply, taking the water through her gills and extruding them calmly. Warm water always felt the best. It was like a bath for your lungs.

She immersed herself in water and slowly played her fingers down her body from the tip of her horns down her chest and stomach, sighing happily, causing a stream of bubbles to surface as her fingers found her bulge and ran across it gently, eliciting a cooing sigh as it opened like a flower, allowing her fingers inside. She found this to be another downside of being dead, though she wasn't sure if it affected all trolls or just her: achieving orgasm had become excruitiatingly difficult.

She worked her fingers hard, groaning and panting beneath the surface of the water, grunting every time she almost reached her peak, then dropped again, whimpering loudly. After a long while, she'd grown frustrated, becoming more aggressive and angry until finally giving him, screaming and thrashing in agonizing lust, banging against the side of the tub and knocking the water everywhere.

Finally, panting from exertion, she emerged from the tub, then froze.

"Horrus?!" she exlaimed, the troll sweating as he watched her, opening his mouth to speak but finding no words. "Water you doing in here?!"

"I- your majesty- I had-"

"Get out!" She pushed him from the bathroom, slamming the door shut and panting, blushing from embarassment. Then, she paused. It took her only a moment to make the decision, her body already still hot and worked up from the tub. She threw open the door, storming naked after Horrus.

"M-Meenah-? What-?" She cut him off by kissing him hard, reaching past his leather apron to stroke his bulge. "Y-your majesty-"

"Shut up and get me off, Zahhak," she growled. She pulled his hand down to her own bulge, mewing at the touch. He responded by workign her slow and hard with his fingers as seh did the same. Suddenly, she dropped to her knees, flashing her sharp teeth in a wicked grin.

"Porrim taught me this," she grinned, moving to his bulge and beginning to work over it with her tongue and lips.

"Oh- oh my..." He grunted, holding her head to get the most pleasure from her until she finally rose, beaming at him, mouth covered in navy juices.

"Now," she said, pinning him against he large double doors, hiking a leg up around his hip. "Fuck me."

Surprisingly, he grabbed her without hestitation, and she could feel her hips ache under his touch as he pulled her to him, tentabulges merging, their tentacles intertwining and grinding, making Meenah squeal in pleasure. She wrapped her legs around him and ground back with all she had, moaning loud as the two merged and meshed against one another.

"Oh God," she muttered as tiny trembles began to run along her body. "Oh god oh god, OH GOD HORRUS!" Her vision dulled, then exploded with violet sparks as her body thrashed in his strong grip. After regaining her senses, she realized she'd been crying out, and that the two had left quite a mess in the foyer in front of the door. "Holy shit, Horrus..." she panted, falling from his grip to the ground, where she sat against the door. "What was it..." She grunted, wincing at the pain in her hips. "What was it you came here for, anyway?"

"I had come to ask your royal advice on how to go about courting Rufioh, actually." She paused, then shook her head, chuckling, standing with a groan.

"Just do to him what you did to me," she grinned, turning to retreat to her bedroom. "Oh, and no one hears about this."

"Of course, your majesty. I wouldn't dream of revealing our spontaneous intimacy to anyone." She nodded, then turned, heaving herself up the stairs.

"I need a nap..."


	10. Umbral Seclusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roxy meets an old friend in a dream.

Roxy followed the spiral deeper into the darkness, around and around into swirling nothingness. The path below her was the only light, and around it was an all consuming black void. The path got thinner as it wrapped tighter nearing the center of the spiral, then finally let out into a large black circle. Roxy stepped into it softly, all noise seeming to stop. Silence, complete.

Then she turned around.

"Hello!" the figure said, smiling nervously. Roxy gaped at the alien girl. Gray skin, white hair, orange horns, pure white eyes, and green spirals on her cheeks.

"Calliope? That you?" Roxy asked, incredulously.

"Yes, it is I!" the troll-girl chuckled.

"Holy shit! The most pious and reverential of shits, turd in a church, Callie, you startled me!"

"Sorry!" she said with a nervous laugh. The two took a moment to take each other in, eyes pouring over each other in their first meet.

"But yeah, so... hey! Nice to finally meet you! Wowee, you're pretty. So when you said you weren't good looking it turns out that was a bunch of baloney?"

"No, Roxy. I am afraid it wasn't a helping of yoUr delicioUs earth baloney," Calliope replied softly, casting her eyes downward.

"Aw, don't say that," Roxy frowned. She examined Calliope for a moment. "Also, you said you were a cherub. If I'm not mistaken, you appear to be a troll. Unless cherubs actually look like trolls?"

"Alas, we do not. This is not my trUe appearance. I have taken the form of my trollsona. I wanted to look more presentable for oUr meetUp. UnfortUnately, my trUe visage woUld likely repUlse or frighten yoU. That is not the first impression I woUld like to make."

"Girl, please," Roxy said with a dismissive wave. "Trust me, there's nothing you could look like that would make me scared of you or grossed out. I am your friend and I know you're nice inside no matter what, so... could I see the real you?"

"That is so kind of yoU to say. I can believe that a lovely person like yoU woUld be able to stop herself from recoiling at the sight of my monstroUs face. BUt it is out of the qUestion. I am mUch more comfortable appearing to yoU this way. Really, it has more to do with my own dissatisfaction with the way I look than any lack of trUst in yoUr character. YoU Understand, don't yoU?"

"Yeah, it's okay Callie, you can keep on being a cute troll. I'm just really happy to see you, after all this time," Roxy smiled and embraced the troll-cherub. Calliope tensed, then returned the embrace.

"As am I. I've waited a long time to finally see yoU." Calliope gave a toothy grin and Roxy giggled. "How have yoU and yoUr friends been?"

"We've been good. Well, kinda good. Well okay recently it's been pretty much disaster city."

"Why is that?"

"Well, Jake and Dirk are sort of a thing, and Janey wanted to be a thing with Jake and Jake is just an inconsiderate ass and talked about Dirk and sort of drove Janey up a wall, and then she ran off and all sorts of crazy shenanigans, I guess."

"Oh dear, that is rather UnfortUnate. If Dirk and Jake are together and Jane is alone, then what does that mean for yoUr love life?"

"Pft, me? Girl, I don't need nobody. I got my besties - you, Janey, and Fefeta. Poor, poor Fefeta." Calliope chuckled and gave another toothy grin. "How about you, you little cherub? Didn't you mention cherub romance once?"

"Ah yes. It's a rather violent and Unpleasant ordeal. In fact, as mUch as it pains me to admit, it was very similar to my relationship with my brother."

"Wait, you and your brother were, like-?"

"No, no! It's similar, but definitely not the same. Ordinarily, the 'romance' woUld occUr between two different cherUbs, and it would be a fight for dominance, mUch as my brother and I fought over my own body. It would often occUr over weeks or months and be a long and bloody dUel. EventUally, the one who sUcceeded woUld be the dominant cherUb in the relationship. It's very similar to the kismessitUde of trolls, however in a way it's more end-oriented than fUeling the rage for another with constant antics."

"Huh, I see. So you don't have any secret cherub boyfriends on the side?"

"Heavens, no. I've never seen another cherUb in my life, and after I've dealt with my brother, I'd never want to meet one. I wish for a more 'red' relationship, like trolls or hUmans have. Alas, as a cherUb, I never can."

"Well you're being troll-Callie right now, right?" Roxy nudged the troll-girl.

"What? Well, yes, bUt-"

"Couldn't you be, like, humansona Callie or whatever?"

"I sUppose in my dream state I coUld be whatever I'd like..."

"Do it, girl! I wanna see human-Callie!"

"Well... alright. Stand back." Roxy took a step away from Calliope, who closed her eyes. She seemed to vibrate, to sort of shift between one state to the next in the blink of an eye. When Roxy focused on her again, she was a young girl, about Roxy's age, with shoulder length brown-blond hair, her usual black and green suspenders and bowtie attire, and deep lime-green eyes. "D-does it look alright?"

"Holy cow, Callie, you're crazy pretty!" Roxy beamed.

"A-am I?" Calliope blushed a lime green color. "Thank yoU, Roxy."

"So... about that human romance."

"Wh-what?"

"Well, you're a human," Roxy began, sauntering up to the human-Calliope, "and I'M a human..."

"I-I- oh- well, I-" Roxy smiled, wrapping her arms around the girl's waist and pulling her close, kissing her gently on the lips. Calliope struggled for a moment, then gave in and relinquished control to Roxy, kissing back deeply. Roxy pulled her tighter against her and Calliope's hands moved to Roxy's chest, eliciting a soft moan from the blond girl.

Panting, they began kissing harder, Roxy taking Calliope and gently lowering her to the ground. Despite being in the center of a dark spiral in a void of nothing, the ground was rather soft. Calliope smiled, hair splayed out before her as Roxy knelt above her.

"Damn you're cute," Roxy panted.

"This is so nice," Calliope murmured softly. "More, please, Roxy." Roxy grinned and began nibbling the girl's neck and playing with her chest. Calliope gave a small coo and moaned as she writhed beneath Roxy's touch. Roxy's hand slid down her chest and into her jeans, moving down to her thigh. Calliope gasped and jerked a bit, looking into Roxy's eyes, but Roxy only grinned and moved her fingers up further, sliding along Calliope's entrance, making her groan and roll her head back as Roxy nipped her neck and chest.

"Oh, Roxy, this is fantastic... I-" She froze. Roxy looked up to find Calliope's gaze fixed behind her. "Oh, no!" Roxy spun to see a young girl dressed in an orange dress. "What is SHE doing here?!"

"M-mom?" Roxy sputtered.

"Mom?" Rose asked, quizically.

"No, no, no, no, no!" Calliope cried, jumping up. "This will not do at ALL! A LIGHT player? Have yoU gone mental? Why don't we jUst bUrn a bloody bonfire in here! He'll spot Us any minUte, assUming he isn't already on his way to blow Us all to kingdom come!" Calliope reached into her pockets, pulling out handfuls of sparkling dust. "Not that it hasn't been delightfUl, bUt everybody oUt!" She threw a handful into Roxy's face, causing her to sit up and cough violently.

Sit up?

"What the heck?" Roxy looked around. Darkness, and purple. Derse? Barred windows. A prison of some kind?

"Oh, good, you're awake." Roxy turned to see the door blocked by a tall troll with large horns, wide hips, and a fierce grin. "I was afraid you'd never wake up."


	11. The Great Lusus Heist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Lusus of Mr. Rufioh Nitram has gone missing, and who else to solve the case but Cronus Ampora, Private I?

The dame cautiously knocked on the door to the private investigator's office.

"Come in," the detective said. She entered, shutting the door softly behind her. "Ah, Ms. Serket. Vwhatewver can I do for you?"

"Detective Ampora, please, I beg of you. The Lusus of poor Rufioh has gone missing!"

"The leader of the Lost Boys gang? Forget it, dame. I got more important things to do." He struck up a cigarette when she slapped a photo on his desk. He turned slowly, examining the snapshot.

"Rufioh believe she stole it. They go way back." Detective Ampora grimaced.

"You SURE about this?"

"Yes. Please, Cronus. Do this one favor?" Aranea bent over subtly. "For me?"

"Sawve the cleawvage, doll. This ain't for you." He burned his cigarette against the photo of the violet-blooded troll. "This is personal."

* * *

"Cronus Ampora," he said, flashing his credentials to the large, blue-blooded guard troll. "Friend of the ovwner." The large troll bouncer spoke on a headset, paused, then nodded, moving aside. The club had a strange rainbow motif, with lasers and lights flashing over the misty fog that covered the dance floor. Cronus made his way to a table in the far back, far from the action. It was dark lit only by a pair of gleaming eyes with red irises.

"Damara," Cronus said in greeting as he approached. "Alvways a pleasure."

"あなたも、魚の男の子。"

"Novw, novw. No name calling. You hawve intel on the girl, don't you?" Damara grimaced, lips pursed in a thin line.

"ここにいない。我々は秘密裏にこれの多くを話すでしょう。" Cronus glanced around. Indeed, several trolls were shooting them odd glances.

"Good idea. Any idea vwhere at?"

"最上階ペントハウス。"

"Lap of luxury, eh, Damara? Alright, lead the vway." Cronus followed the crimson-blood past the drunks and strippers to the elevator. Using the club's key, she pressed the penthouse button, and the elevator rumbled to a start.

"Vwhat do you know, Megido?" Cronus asked softly.

"我々はここで話すことは安全ではありません。" She gestured toward the ceiling, where a small camera and microphone were inset. He stood quietly until they reached the top floor, and the elevator doors slid open. The room was decorated with Japanese-style memorobelia and posters of anime. Cronus never had the taste for those Japanese comics.

"さて、シードゥエラー。" Damara said, stripipng her low-cut red blouse to the floor, revealing her supple breasts. "あなたは私から情報を性交するつもりですか？" Cronus grinned, undoing his pants.

"Only if I must, doll." She grabbed him and pulled him into a long, hard kiss. He returned it, throwing off his duster and shirt. Damara knelt down, removing his boxers and slowly licking each tentacle of his bulge. He grinned and threaded his hand into her hair.

"That feels real good, doll." He groaned as her tongue slid up and down each one and she came up grinning, purple slime running down her chin. He grabbed her and threw her back onto the bed, climbing on top so their tentabulges intertwined. She groaned and writhed as he panted, grinding his bulge against hers harder and faster.

"はい、はい、より速く、より！" He panted, feeling the shivering-shocking feeling climbing up his spine, until finally he groaned loud, his body feeling aflame. After a moment, he flopped down onto the bed, panting.

"Jeez, doll, that vwas-" He turned to see Damara, pointing a gun at him. "Oh. Vwell, then-"

"あなたは本当にあなたが住んでいるだろうと思った？私は私のリーダーを離れて与えるだろうか？"

"C'mon, doll, be reasonable. Here, I'll even let you go. No interrogation, no guns. I'm unarmed." Suddenly, the elevator pinged lightly. Damara turned her attention from Cronus, and he lunged, smashing the gun up into her face.

"Freethe, thuckerth!" The rookie Captor screamed as he entered, swinging his pistol around.

"No need, Mituna, I got her," Cronus said with a smile, cuffing the red-blooded troll. "Novw, doll. Tell em ewverything you knovw about Meenah."


	12. The Clown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hunting one clown, Terezi finds another.

"If I find that damn clown, I'll kill him," Terezi muttered, wandering about her treehive in the dream bubble. She frowned. "Something smells like... grapes?" She hissed. "Gamzee!" Slinking into the shadows, she moved silently and quickly, following the scent her mirthful kismesis was leaving behind. He was close. Very close. Not even taking to the airducts as he'd been so fond of lately.

" _honk_." Terezi paused. It sounded far off, and yet very near. Was her hearing going bad? Wouldn't that be the icing on the cake - a blind AND deaf troll. No... someone was coming. She hid, holding against the black licorice shadows.

"What got into Karkat?" a voice sounded, coming down the hallway. If not for the statement, she'd have mistaken in for Karkat in the first place, without his shouting. "Kurloz, what do you think?" Silence. She could hear rustling, like moving fingers, however. "Yes, I supose so. You- you don't think I triggered him, do you? Oh, my, if I've triggered poor Karkat-" More motions. "Yes, you're right. Thank you Kurloz. Hm? Oh, yes, of course. I can go on ahead. REmember not to be alone for too long. This meteor is home of some of our dancestors, and we haven't met them all yet; we don't know how to act to them. Don't trigger anyone, Kurloz!" With that, the Karkat dancestor passed.

" _honk_." Terezi held her breath, trying to avoid the strange troll. " _DO YOU HEAR ME, PYROPE? HONK."_ She gritted her teeth. The voice was in her head, grating against her subconscious. " _SPEAK TO ME_."

"I... hear you..." she spat.

" _good. i hear you've been having a good black-rom with my dancestor buddy, gamzee_." She held her tongue.  _"SPEAK!_ _"_

"Yes, yes!" she replied frantically. The voice reverberated in her head with pain, an echo that slammed her mind each time he spoke.

" _now you understand to speak before i raise my voice_."

"Yes," she muttered.

" _i want to see why my mutha fuckin messiah brother is so interested in you. do you understand?_ " She didn't reply. She didn't want to.

" _DO. YOU. UNDERSTAND?_ "

"Yes, just stop!" she cried out. She could mentally feel his grin. As the Seer of Mind, hers was more susceptible to mental attacks. And this... Kurloz seemed more than adept in them.

" _on your knees_." She froze. " _do NOT make me yell_." Terezi growled, falling to her knees as she heard a zipper being undone. " _do it_." She hissed, but reached forward with her hand. She blushed - it was larger than she'd expected. She moved her hand up and down slowly, making the troll groan.

" _good..."_ She took off her glasses and leaned forward, running her tongue over the tip before taking it into her mouth, sucking gently. " _ooh yeah, sister, keep like that..._ " She felt his hands in her hair, pulling her down further, making her grimace as her lips slid down his shaft. She began to bob up and down of her own volition, using her hand to stroke the rest she couldn't fit into her mouth.

" _mmmhmmm_..." Kurloz groaned in her head. " _more_." He took her head and yanked, making her gag as his cock plunged into her throat, struggling against him. " _DONT. MOVE._ " She cried out, his yelling and the loss of oxygen beginning to make her dizzy until finally he pulled out, making her gasp for breath. " _strip_." She hissed and growled. " _STRIP._ " She found her body rebelling, obeying the commands his mind screamed into hers, rising to her feet and stripping off her clothing. First her shirt, revealing her bare ashen chest, nipples perky due to the meteor's chilly air, then her pants and teal panties, revealing the rest of her body. _  
_

" _look at that. i can see why my dancestor likes you. not thin, but not fat._ " Terezi bared her teeth. " _on your back girl._ " She stood fast. " _ON. YOUR. BACK_." This time was worse than the last. It was as if she'd blacked out the few seconds it took to comply to his command. His control was getting stronger. Or her resistance was getting weaker. He straddled her chest, gripping her hair and yanking her forward, forcing her to take more of him into her mouth than before, gagging and coughing.

" _dont stop_ ," he growled into her mind, beginning to move quicker. He finally pulled out, slick with her saliva, and pushed her onto her side, pulling her legs apart and pushing into her roughly. She cried out loudly, the pain bringing a tear to her eye. The dream bubbles didn't work the same as reality - anyone not in the same "zone" (in this case the dark hallway) wouldn't hear her. They were completely and utterly alone. She whimpered and panted, her body beginning to heat up and respond to the troll's violent mating.

" _is the naughty pyrope girl getting wet?_ " he asked with his skeletal grin. She didn't respond, and thankfully, he didn't demand an answer, only continued to please himself harder. She whimpered and cried out, attempting to hold back the gold feelings that bled through the pain into her body, twanging with heat and pleasure. Black-romance wasn't about happy lovemaking; it was carnal and violent. Kurloz seemed to understand this well.

" _ooh, yes, getting close..._ " he continued to pound her harder, whimpers turning to full mewls of forced pleasure. Suddenly, he yanked out of her, grabbed her head and started forcing her up and down on him. " _you like this, don't you? you want it_?"

" _Yes, please,_ " she groaned. She froze. Kurloz paused, then continued quicker.

" _don't talk_ ," he groaned. " _don't you ruin this._ "

" _What?_ " She didn't understand.  _"Go away_."

" _stop it, pyrope_ ," he hissed. She felt the heat building up in him.

" _Go!_ "

" _no!"_

" _GO AWAY!"_  The thought stunned her, befuddling her brain, her own thought amplified almost painfully. When she came to, she was alone, gasping for breath. She reached up to her face, grimacing at the cum that dripped down her cheeks. She paused, then listened for anyone else. Hearing no one, she quickly made away with it, swallowing what had gotten into her mouth, and the rest for good measure. She dressed quickly, pulling her dragon-costume hood over her head and skulked off into the dark.

Now, she hunted two clowns. Now she knew of one's weakness.


	13. KidNEPped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nepeta is kidnapped by a mysterious pair of trolls.

Nepeta awoke slowly and drowsily. Her environment was dark and smelled sterile and unfamiliar.

"Hello?" she called out softly. Her senses slowly returned to her, and two cold sensations assaulted her at once. The first was the biting, metallic cold of the cuffs around her wrists and ankles and the slab she was cuffed to, and the second was the general draftiness of the room. It was too dark to see, but she gazed down at her bound body anyway, and could tell that she'd been stripped naked.

"Hello? Please, someone?" she yelled into the darkness. Her head rolled from side to side, searching for help or an exit; any sign of hope.

Instead, deep in the darkness, she saw a pair of familiar eyes, pupils rimmed with irises of olive green, glazed over with a distant look, as if possessed.

"H… hello?" Nepeta called softly. The eyes turned to the side, a cocked head. They were studying her. "Can… can you hear me?" A dim bulb flickered to life above Nepeta, illuminating the slab she was bound to, and a small circle of light around it. The figure holding the eyes stepped into the light, and Nepeta's eyes scanned over a nude version of herself, sweeps older than she was currently.

"Who… are you?" The older troll's fingers flitted an obscure pattern of symbols. "I don't… I don't understand." The troll repeated the symbols harder, as if to annunciate more clearly. Nepeta, however, just shook her head. The older troll scowled, teeth bared.

She climbed lithely onto the table, running her fingers over Nepeta's lightly scarred grey skin. She bit back a few moans as the troll's fingertips brushed over several erogenous areas, and when she looked to the older troll's face, she was met with a fierce smile as she pushed two fingers into Nepeta's pussy. She cried out, fists clenching and unclenching at the motion, head tossed to the side. The older troll simply gave a light giggle before continuing to finger deeper, increasing the tempo slightly.

Before long, the young troll was sopping with olive-colored juices and biting her lip hard as the her elder smiled deviously, lowering her mouth to Nepeta's stomach, kissing lightly before biting hard, eliciting a loud yell from the bound troll. She did this several times, each time lower and each kiss met with a more tense and bated breath, waiting for the sharp teeth. Nepeta found herself almost unable to breathe as the older troll, with agonizing slowness, kissed her pelvis, and then moved to plant a soft kiss on Nepeta's smooth mound. Her knuckles were white as her body tensed, ready for the inevitable bite, but instead found the older troll's tongue deep inside.

Nepeta yelled out loudly, squirming against the restraints, both in fear and primal pleasure. The older troll simply smirked, working Nepeta with her tongue and fingers, moving faster and harder as Nepeta slowly lost herself to the sensation, her breath turning from quick, panicked bursts to long, breathy moans.

The older smiled, maneuvering herself around to straddle Nepeta's head, catching the young troll's head beneath her thighs. Nepeta whined a soft protest, but the older olive-blood silenced it quickly by grinding down against her. Nepeta groaned softly, complying with her captor by burying her tongue deep into the older troll's snatch, receiving a cooing growl from the troll on top in return, making her grind harder, reaching back to take Nepeta by the hair and yank hard. The young olive-blood yelped in pain, but complied, burying her face deeper into the adolescent, hoping to get more pleasure and – against what she told herself – she rather enjoyed the taste of the older troll's juices.

After a bit longer, the older troll got off, Nepeta now whining from the lack of juices instead of in protest to them. The older troll chuckled for a moment before fastening a device around her waist. Nepeta frowned, attempting to make it out in the low light.

The older troll smiled devilishly and climbed on top once more, this time face-to-face with Nepeta. Nepeta's eyes found the others. They were so similar, just older. " _Meulin_ ", she thought. An invasive thought, not her own. " _Meulin Leijon_." The Meulin troll kissed Nepeta hard, tongues swirling around in one another's mouths as Meulin's fingers curled into her younger dancestor's hair. Slowly, her free hand reached down, stroking Nepeta gently, eliciting light moans as the lithe fingers rubbed at the young troll's clit and spread her gently. Nepeta's eyes flicked open when she felt something larger.

"W-wait-" she began as Meulin grinned evilly, thrusting forward hard with her hips. Nepeta's vision flooded olive-green and her senses popped for a moment. When she regained tem, she heard a loud, moaning scream. After a moment, she recognized the voice as her own and quieted it down to an agonizingly pleased yell.

Meulin started slow, pumping in and out with the thick strap-on as Nepeta yanked and pulled at her restraints, feeling it begin to cut into her wrists. Meulin threw her head back like an animal in heat, however, oblivious or uncaring to Nepeta's protest. Suddenly, the strap-on slid deeper and something inside Nepeta shifted from agonizing pain to mind-numbing pleasure. Nepeta's vision sparked and fizzed as her hips pumped up to meet her dancestor's again and again. Meulin grinned deviously, pounding harder, faster.

Time seemed to drag on and speed up, expanding and contracting wildly and randomly until finally it began to spin and wind tighter. Nepeta felt the time between her body's spasms shorten; her moans were louder and longer. Meulin noticed too, responding in turn with harder thrusts and a fierce grip, growling as she pounded the young troll.

"P-please!" Nepeta yelled, unsure if she was begging her captor or her own body, unable to hold it in any longer. Inside her, the heat blossomed and exploded, her every pore seeming to tingle with electric pleasure as she bucked hard, pouring her genetic fluids out onto the slab as she shook like a thing possessed. Meulin's thrusts slowed and she smiled, bringing the strap-on to an exhausted Nepeta's lips, happily cleaning the tool dry before letting her head fall against the metal slab with a bang.

Meulin touched two fingers to her dancestor's forehead. "Again – soon" Nepeta nodded hard and Meulin melted back into the shadows once more.


	14. Extended Relaxation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are absolutely, one hundred percent alone in the facility.  
> Well. Almost alone.
> 
> (Crossover: Portal)

You pant softly, kneeling to wipe the sweat from your brow, deciding it time for a rest. Crawling through air ducts wouldn't be considered your favorite past-time, and while no one would say you were overweight, no one would say you were healthy and in shape either.

Though, one could argue no one would say anything to you at all anymore. As far as you could tell over the past few weeks, you were absolutely, one hundred percent alone in the facility.

" _Oh, Jane, your mother called,_ " an empty voice echoed through the halls below. " _She really wants you to come out now. She says she misses you._ " Well. Almost alone.

You tighten the knot around your waist and heft the device on your arm as you continue through the ducts, grateful at least that these weren't monitored like nearly everywhere else. You smile as you pass a familiar sign - graffiti of a slice of cake in black paint. At least, you try to tell yourself it isn't dried blood.

You follow the scrawled arrows until you reach a kicked-in ventilation shaft, peering into the room below. The camera's light is orange and blinking - offline. You glance over at the dehydrated food dispenser and take a deep breath. You heft the device before you, getting a clear shot, firing quickly twice, once directly below you, and another near the machine against the wall. You drop from the shaft, falling through the hole in space-time, appearing near the dispenser, jamming the buttons quickly, eyes on the camera. The orange blinking begins to slow, and you know it's only a matter of time.

The dispenser pings loudly, the camera's light dimming to an ominous red as it recognizes the sound.

" _There you are, Jane._ " Suddenly, her portals fizzle out. " _I've learned some new tricks while you've been up in the ducts._ " Two portals - red and orange instead of her typical blue and purple - appear on the walls of the room, two bulbous, white objects appearing through them, a dim red light on the front.

"Fuck..." You scoop up the dehydrated food packets, shoving them into your jumpsuit and fire your portal gun.  _Click, click_. "Fuck!" You begin at a dead sprint as the bulbous objects open at the sides, twin machine guns opening and taking aim.

" _Target acquired,_ " they note, simultaneously. You pant and barrel through the cafeteria door into the hallway as the door is ripped to shreds under a hailstorm of bullets.

" _Please stay still, Jane._ " She ignored the cold voice, running through the halls, drawing in ragged breaths. She had only a few moments until more turrets were dispensed. " _Stop, right now,_ " the female voice demanded over the intercom. " _You aren't going the right way, you know. I can show you the way out._ " Jane slowed and frowned. The voice was getting... fainter. She took a look around to find that the walls were decrepit and dirty. Her portal gun whirred to life once more.

She had no control here.

Leisurely, she ignored the incessant demands to turn back, strolling through the new, empty corridors where the air ducts didn't reach. Where GLaDOS couldn't hurt her anymore. She sat down in a hallway, smiling to herself and resting her head against the wall behind her.

"Safe..." she whispered softly. "Safe... I'm safe."

"No," a whisper replied, Jane's eyes flicking open. "It's not safe anywhere." She scanned the darkness of the corridor for the voice.

"Where are you?" she demanded, hefting her gun. "I'm armed! Show yourself!" The voice chuckled.

"Aperture doesn't manufacture weapons. Well, not anymore."

"Come out now!" In the darkness, twin triangles lit up with red.

"You're never safe." The triangles dimmed to darkness.

"W-wait! Come back!" She shot a portal behind her, into an area with light, firing another straight ahead, the light illuminating the empty hallway. She sprinted forward, into the darkness, blindly groping through empty corridors and echoing hallways until finally she felt something... spongy underfoot. She knelt, running her fingers along the ground.

"Vegetation..." she whispered excitedly. "The outside." She stood. "I'm almost out." She laughed out loud, running forward toward a door, outlined in light. "I'm almost out! I'm almost-!" She threw open the door, catching herself just barely against the door frame, the world in front of her dropping into nothingness. A room of indescribable size rose in front of her, full of huge, marked crates being shipped to and fro via magnetic rails. "Wh... what..." Suddenly, as she watched, a figure, dressed very similarly to her, although his jumpsuit was orange, not blue, swung along the rails, his portal gun latched onto it, glowing brightly. He grinned smugly behind a pair of triangular sunglasses - the same shape she'd seen before.

"Come after me," he called as he swooped by. She blinked, then raised her gun to the rail, pressing the button to pick up an object. Suddenly, the force yanked her forward onto the rail and she was zipping along behind the boy. Her breath left her and came back in full force as she arced and looped, the magnetic rails sometimes making figures that didn't even making sense for shipping purposes. Finally, she glanced over, the boy standing on one of the crates, arm outstretched. She reached out and took it, her portal gun lurching forward, almost dislocating her arm before she shut it off, the boy swinging her inside.

"Damnit," she swore, throwing her gun to the ground as she rolled her arm in its socket.

"Are you okay?" he asked, tossing his aside as well and moving forward.

"I'm fine," she replied, recoiling away from him. "I'm fine." He frowned, taking a step back and nodding.

"I'm Dirk," he said as he picked up his gun and moved through the room. She picked hers up and looked around, finding an odd bedroom-apartment within the box.

"What is this place?"

"The computers call it an 'Extended Relaxation Chamber'. Some kind of stasis, I guess." She nodded, setting her gun down and sitting on the bed. "I woke up in one of these. Some are empty, some have people in them." She looked at him.

"Other living people?"

"Yeah. Like us. But I can't wake them up - only the computer can. I was woken up because of an error." Jane nodded. "What's your story?"

"I... don't know. I woke up in the testing facility." His eyes widened.

"That deathtrap with the AI? Christ, how'd you survive?" She smiled, patting her portal gun. "Using their own weapons against them. Nice." He sat beside her. "Let me see your arm." She hesitated, then sighed, slipping the portal gun off her arm and stretching it out for his examination. He turned it over, then back again. "Hm."

"Hm?"

"It's a nice arm." She blinked, then blushed, pulling away. She glanced over at him and he took off his glasses, locking gaze with her. Her breath caught in her throat, his eyes a deep orange, like his jumpsuit.

"I- I-" she stammered, unable to compile the emotions roiling in her mind into words. He set his glasses next to his gun, moving forward and cupping her face. "Y-you're taller than me," she sputtered.  _Idiot,_ she cursed herself.  _You're taller than me? That's all you've got?_

"Yeah," he replied with a smirk, kissing her softly. She melted into the kiss, something inside her igniting. Before Aperture, she wasn't exactly a social goddess, but after having been confined to the dull, matte white walls and the same grating voice of GLaDOS for months, the touch of another person was intoxicating. His hands moved to her waist and she tore her jumpsuit off from around it, lying back and pulling him with her. She could tell he felt it too.

Their lips meshed and she panted softly as his hands roamed her body. She craned her head back, his lips kissing and nipping along her neck. She'd never gone further than kissing with a boy, and now she wanted nothing more than the boy she'd met for not even an hour to take her. Suddenly, he pulled back, panting softly as he held himself above her, looking into her eyes.

"Is this- I mean, are you- Is this okay?" he asked softly. Her eyes grazed over his face, the soft spattering of freckles across his nose, his red-blonde hair, his focused and intense eyes, before reaching down, pulling his shirt over his head.

"Yes," she whispered in reply. He swallowed and nodded, pulling off her shirt, kissing down her bare chest as her fingers threaded through his hair. His lips and teeth played with her chest, licking softly and nibbling her nipples as he made his way back up to her lips, the kissing now more intense. She wiggled down, kissing his chest in turn and unfastening his pants as she kissed down his sides and mostly-flat stomach. He ran his fingers through her hair before grabbing her by the waist and throwing her up onto the bed.

She gasped as he tore at her pants like an animal, pulling them down past her legs and panting atop her, both panting, nude, for the first time in a long while. He finally met her gaze and kissed her softly, feeling her moan into his mouth at the kiss, then louder as he slowly pushed himself deep inside. She cried out, fingers digging into his back, toes curling in pleasure, both groaning and gasping until he had settled all the way inside her, hanging his head and panting from exertion.

"You... alright...?" she panted. His hand whipped up, gripping her hair and tugging, making her cry out, his other hand moving to her waist as he began to pump slowly. Her eyes rolled back, panting as she let him move, firmly and steadily thrusting deep inside her, filling her very being as her body tingled in excitement. She held him steady with one hand, the other moving to her breast, tweaking her nipple and arching her back into him as he pumped.

He grunted, pumping deep and hard, an animal caged for far too long, groaning as he slid in deep.

"S-so tight..." he muttered softly. She just swallowed and nodded as he continued harder, her hair splayed out on the pillow behind her. He gripped her hips and pumped harder, thumb moving to her clit, rubbing circles and making her yell and writhe. "I'm getting close..." he groaned. Her eyes fluttered about his body, suddenly very acute to every sensation. She could feel his chest as it rose and fell, the sweat from his brow as it dripped onto her chest, and his thick member expanding within her, threatening to rip her apart.

"Please," she whined, as her own body began to sear with pleasure, nearing her own peak. "Do it..." He met her eyes and cried out, pumping in deep a few times before yelling out loudly, her own vision going white as she screamed.

As the white faded, her sweat dripping from her brow, she looked around. She was inside a frosted glass capsule, her jumpsuit fastened tightly around her. What was going on? She looked around, beginning to hyperventilate.

" _Thank you for assuming the Party Escort Submission Position,_ " a mechanical voice droned as the capsule began flooding with a light green gas. She coughed and struggled, but couldn't move, her consciousness fading away quickly, until nothing remained.


	15. Trick-Or-Treat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roxy's friends push her into attending a Halloween party. Upon arriving, she stumbles onto a second party, with a different type of partygoer.

**TRICK OR TREAT  
** _**[One-Shot]** _

Roxy bit her lip as the car rolled up to the already crowded front lawn.

"Oh come on," her brother said, slugging her in the arm. "You're nervous now?" She glanced over at him, his hair spiked and colored blue, normally black pointed shades replaced with a pair of red ones, the look complete with a red cape and no shirt. "Look at me. I got all dressed up like a damn anime for this dumb party. I'm gonna walk in there and no one's going to have heard of, or even seen, Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann and I'm just going to waltz around like I own the place." He arched an eyebrow and she blushed. "You, on the other hand, have the good fortune, grace, and naivety to at least pick something that people recognize, hell, even overlook. You're gonna do fine, sis." He ruffled her hair, the cat ears he'd pinned in staying firmly in place. Dirk was nothing if not efficient.

"I know," Roxy sighed, straightening her outfit, hugging her curves a bit too much. "I'm just thinkin' maybe this wasn't such a great idea, you know?"

"I guess," Dirk frowned. "We could go home, if you really think that's the best course of action." She looked out the window, seeing Jane and her cute brother arriving on the scene and sighing.

"No, it's fine." Dirk studied her for a minute before shrugging and parking the car, allowing the two out into the lawn. Roxy noticed that, even without the campy spider webs and cheap plastic wrought iron fences and foam gravestones, the place looked… imposing. It was what appeared to be a large brick house – mansion, maybe? – decorated with gold leaf and a deep, royal purple color along the shutters and trim. "Look at this place," her brother said, both attracting the attention of the Egbert-Crocker siblings and stating what Roxy herself thought. "This is like… the bastard child of Jules Verne and Bram Stoker. Like…"

"Hey, Roxy," Jane beamed, approaching and distracting her from her brother's ramblings.

"Hey, Janey!" They embraced and she gave John a fist bump, eliciting the usual giggle out of the two. "Love your costume!"

"Thanks," she replied, adjusting the fake moustache on her detective costume.

"And what are you? Truck driver?" she asked John.

"Wh-? No, I'm Cameron Poe from Con Air!" She laughed, ruffling his hair.

"I know, silly. You all ready to go inside?" The two nodded and followed her in, Dirk having already ambled toward the house while they were talking. The door itself had a massive gold insignia on it, like a curved H.

"Should we knock?" John asked awkwardly and Roxy nodded, bringing the gold knocker down twice. Immediately, the trio was answered by an older girl in piercings.

"Who are you," she said flatly.

"Um, we're Feferi's friends?" Jane squeaked. The older girl looked them over slowly, then nodded.

"Alright, come on in." Roxy sighed internally and she could see her friends relax as well as the three entered. Immediately, the atmosphere was near smothering. Booming music resounded through the house and the smell of smoke and alcohol was pungent.

"Oh wow," John snickered. "I didn't know it was THIS kind of party!"

"Neither did I," Jane frowned.

"Oh lighten up!" he replied, nudging her. "Just have some fun for once, Ms. Crocker." Jane gave Roxy a look she knew too well and Roxy nodded, forcing a smile as the two siblings rushed off to enjoy the party. Roxy gulped and made her way into the main room. There were kids all over drinking out of red cups and talking each other's ears off, dancing in one corner, observing a rap-off between Dirk and Dave in another portion of the room. She slowly made her way across the sea of writhing bodies and over to the table, where her throat tightened.

One drink wouldn't be so bad. Just one, she promised herself.

With a shaky hand, she grabbed one of the plastic cups and poured herself some of the punch from the bowl. It was just punch. Surely not that alcoholic, it was just a dumb Halloween party. She smiled, sipping the drink. She sighed, tasting very little alcohol on the drink and sipping slowly as she observed the party.

"Enjoying yourself so far?" Roxy nearly jumped out of her skin, turning to the sly smile of her classmate.

"Jesus, Rose," Roxy sighed, leaning against the table. "Know how to scare the shit outta a girl."

"I've had some practice. It is, after all, a Halloween party." Roxy nodded. "And what are you doing over here all alone?"

"Oh, no, I came with Janey and John but they ran off to do whatever and mingle or somethin'." Rose frowned, nodding thoughtfully.

"Interesting. Why didn't you go with them?"

"I-" Roxy paused. It hadn't crossed her mind. "I dunno. Felt like I'd feel the party out myself?"

"I see." Rose yawned, stretching in her wizard robe and outstretching her drink. "I can't quite finish my drink and I'm terribly exhausted. Would you mind polishing it off for me? I wouldn't want it to go to waste."

"Oh, uh, sure, no prob." She took the drink in her other hand, downing the first one to make room for the new one.

"Thanks, Roxy." With that, Rose flashed a smile and moved into the crowd, leaving Roxy alone to sip her drink. Her eyes widened after the first sip. It was strong, a lot stronger than the punch, and… spicy? Like pumpkin. Again, her throat tightened. Just one drink. The last one didn't count.

As the night wound on, she finished the drink and went back for a few more. Rose's didn't count, it wasn't ROXY'S drink. If she spilled some of her drink, that didn't count either. Finally, she was thoroughly hammered and smiling, leaning against the wall for support as some guy rambled on about his fancy car and how great his job was, when nature called.

"Oh, no wait hold on, I gotta go piss," she said tactlessly, pushing away from the wall abruptly and ambling across the room. "Where's tha bathroom?" she muttered to passerby, who simply gave her a wide berth and let her pinball her way through the party room and into the hall. "If I was a bathroom… where would I be?" Finally, she decided "down the hall" sounded good and staggered her way along, before running headlong into a familiar face.

"Oh, dear, Roxy, you seem to be a bit intoxicated," the voice said, and Roxy could hear the grin on it.

"Rose? But you said you was exhausted," she mumbled.

"If you're headed to the bathroom, I can certainly show you the way. Come here." Rose whisked her along, much quicker than her brain could keep up with. First she saw the royal purple hall, and then a room that was deep red, covered in floor to ceiling and… people? Something about masks, and then she was in a plush bathroom, sitting on the toilet. After she relieved herself, she splashed her face with some water, regaining some sense of sobriety and made her way to the door, before pausing.

Something didn't seem right.

She unlocked the door quietly and peeked into the room beyond. It was as she drunkenly remembered: From the floor to the ceiling, it was red. Red walls, red velvet furniture, and a red chandelier, with only the hardwood floor as contrast. Inside were several people wearing black suits and wearing white masks, like in a masquerade, and beyond them was the door to the rest of the house. Nowhere to hide, she quietly slinked into the room, hoping no one would notice-

All eyes were on her.

She froze, the sea of masks all pointed at her, as if awaiting an answer.

"Uh… hey," she said, her voice scratchy and awkward. "Um, I'm just gonna get back to the party…" She awkwardly made her way across the floor and toward the door, where the masked partygoers refused to move. "What…?"

"Wwell, wwell, wwell. Wwhat do wwe havve here?" She spun to face the new voice, this young man dressed in a deep purple suit, similar to the rest of the house, his mask a brilliant gold rather than white. "And wwho might you be?"

"My name's Roxy," she squeaked, pressing against the line of masked people blocking the door. "I-I just want to go back to the party."

"Do you? Or wwould you rather havve a drink?" He held out a hand, offering a wine glass full of white-gold liquid.

"Is… is this wine?"

"Wwould you like it to be?" he asked softly, his eyes a shimmering purple beneath his mask. She took the glass with trembling hands, sniffing softly. The aroma of alcohol reached her nose, setting her nerves on edge, despite her wishing she had the strength not to drink. She sipped at it softly and immediately felt the burn down her throat. Whatever it was, it was strong, and he expected her to drink it. "Go on," he said, his voice soft but firm with authority. She nodded, tossing the drink back with a cough, the liquid burning down her throat like liquid magma.

And all at once, she was again drunk. Happily drunk. In the back of her mind, she realized that it was better this way, whatever the masked men had in store for her, it would be better while she was drunk. At this point, she didn't seem to have much of a choice, and simply giggled when her clothes were removed. She really did enjoy the feeling of being observed and touched, she was simply too reserved to throw herself into it without a thorough amount of intoxication.

The masked people's fingers traced down her now nude chest, across her neck, along her belly and brushing her nipples, making her coo softly, arching her back. The purple-suited man watched her, catching her eye more than once as they played with her chest and back. He raised a ringed hand and snapped, and at once her bottoms were yanked down, leaving her in her trademark pink panties with the cute black bow in the front. She gasped and bit her lip as fingers both rough and soft ran over the sheer material, kneading her already wet mound and – she would admit – quite round ass.

"Why…" she grunted softly, through her drunken haze, catching the purple-suited man's attention. "Whyy…"

"Why else?" a female voice came from behind her. "You're the party favor." She craned her head to look and found a pair of lips on hers, hot and firm. She felt the tongue dart into her mouth from beneath painted black lips, looked into the woman's deep lavender eyes, the rest of her face hidden beneath a white mask, but Roxy having had enough fantasies of those eyes to recognize Rose anywhere. Her gaze was stony and focused, her tongue working Roxy's mouth in ways she didn't understand, fingers being played along her thighs and eliciting whining moans Roxy didn't know she had in her. Finally, the kiss was broken and with it, some of her sobriety returned. And yet…

She was spun to face the man in the gold mask, smiling widely at her, his teeth sharper than a normal person's. He moved in to replace Rose's lips, and Roxy happily accepted. His kiss wasn't half as regal or graceful as the woman before, but she happily accepted regardless. He tasted strange, yet sweet, like some kind of delicacy. She savored the feeling of his tongue exploring her mouth, his hands running up along her thighs.

"My wword," he smirked as his fingers moved up to her soaked panties, making her legs shake, whining loudly and clinging to him. "You certainly are wwet, aren't you little thing?" She nodded hard, her cheeks pink. He simply smirked and tugged her hair, pulling her to her knees and undoing his suit bottom. Her mouth hung open instinctively and she could see out of her peripherals the other masked figures surrounding them in a circle, minute movements implying that they, too, were occupied. She barely made out a smudged, black smirk among them before firm hands pressed her forward and her mouth was filled.

It was hot, and pulsing. It wasn't her first time, of course, but it was… different. It felt different in her mouth, as if his skin wasn't of the usual texture. She slowly bobbed up and down, glancing up at him from her spot on her knees and seeing his eyes focused intently on her, glazing over with lust as she ran her tongue over his head slowly, moving one hand up to grip his base. He was quite a bit larger than she initially thought, and holding him there proved it. If not for her mouth moving along his length, she could've used both hands to stroke him.

She moved up and down for a while before he yanked her off suddenly, the remnants of alcohol in her system making the room do a complete 360 before she realized she was on her back, her legs crooked and spread. The others in the room had formed a tighter circle now, all looking in on the two in the center of the room with rapt attention as the gold-masked man was on his knees now. Glancing down, she saw its full length: about nine inches long and so thick that her hand had only just barely fit around it. She leaned her head back, fully sober and aware of her surroundings and the situation she was in. She grinned.

He pushed forward, splitting her open and forcing a loud moan from her mouth. For a moment, she wondered if anyone else in the house had heard, but she figured that the room was designed for such an occasion, and moaned louder as he pumped in deep. He was reckless and rough, hands grabbing her hips and digging into her sides. She could practically feel the bruises forming as he began to thrust roughly, knocking her head back against the floor, her breasts bouncing wildly as he did.

"Oh fuck," she whimpered, digging her nails into the hardwood floor, feeling her pussy tighten around him as she began to tremble and cum. She cursed her notoriously easy orgasm and gasped, bucking and arching. Normally, when she thrashed about, guys would be scared or turned off, but instead the gold-masked man gripped her tighter, holding her through it and pumping slowly, returning to his previously rough tempo once she'd begun to settle down, tremors still rocking her body on occasion. Despite being watched by an audience of masked figures, one of which was one of her well-known classmates, and having been pressured into having sex with this strange man she'd never met, it was the first time she felt… respected, and wanted.

She moaned louder in wanton need, wanting this man to fill her deep and continue fucking her through her continuous orgasms, and he did. Her head was craned back, eyes closed, when suddenly she heard two soft thumps on either side of her head and smelled something… sweet. Her eyes opened and a sharp-nailed hand gripped her hair, pulling her forward. Her mouth was pressed against the first vagina she'd ever seen, other than her own, topped with a small triangle of blond hair. She inhaled the woman's cloying scent and couldn't help but hope she knew who it was before forcing her tongue in deep, her body still being pumped by the man below her. She didn't know what exactly she was doing, but did her best to play at the woman's clit and pump in slow and deep, causing spasms that showed she was on the right path. She looked up, unable to see anything but the wrist of the hand in her hair and the lower stomach of the masked partygoer, but happy that whoever it was, she was able to please them.

After a bit, she felt the woman above her stiffen. She nearly pulled back, worried she was doing something wrong, but the woman gripped Roxy's hair with both hands, pulling her in hard. The realization set Roxy over the edge as well and once again the man's nails dug into Roxy's sides as she came, her tongue darting in and out of the woman and tasting this new cum on her mouth as well. The woman above was sweating and panting and finally rose off, the purple-suited man not releasing his grip on her hips and she bit her lip, looking up into his eyes and arching her back. He snarled, baring his sharp teeth in a feral way, nearly scaring her, but enticing her more than anything.

"Please," she pleaded, his expression changing ever so slightly. "Do it," she instructed, more forcefully this time. He reached forward to grip her hair and he came. She felt her body erupt with heat, starting in her pussy and rushing over her in hot waves, each part of her body the waves touched jerking like electrocuted, her breath coming in short, rapid breaths, vision blurry and full of stars. She heard his voice, too, crying out as he pumped her harder, probably leaving a third bruise where his pelvis met hers, grinding hard with each full thrust. Finally, growling and panting, he fell to his knees, releasing her. And they were met with applause.

It was surreal, in a way. After the man got up, he offered Roxy his hand and she stood on shaky feet, her hand still in his and facing the audience, clasped hands raised as the two performed a stage bow and she was rushed to the bathroom, where her clothes were waiting and the water was already running for a shower. She gratefully cleaned her body of the sweat and strong aroma of sex before dressing into her tight cat costume and entering the room again, before stopping. The room was empty. No masked people, no red furniture – nothing. The room was a simple sitting room with wooden furniture and purple walls. She knew she hadn't dreamt it, there were still marks on the floor where her nails dug in.

She shuddered, making her way through the room and into the main house, where she met the piercing-laden older girl.

"You Roxy?" she demanded.

"Oh, um, yeah," Roxy replied.

"Your brother and friends have been looking all the hell over for you," she grunted, pointing her thumb at the front door. "Party's over. Where were you?"

"Drunk," she stammered. "I was looking for a bathroom and I think I passed out." Even Roxy had trouble discerning her lie from the truth.

"It's fine. I've gotten smashed more times than I can count," the girl said, with a smirk. "Out front." Roxy nodded gratefully, passing the party room where people were helping Feferi clean up, and for a moment, she met Rose's eye. She gave only a sly smirk before Roxy rushed past the doorway and out into the cold, autumn air.

"Yo, Rox!" Dirk said, approaching her. "What happened? You get lost in there?"

"N-no, I-" She paused, seeing Jane's disapproving look. "I-I lost track of time… Sorry."

"It's fine, I was just worried you got picked up by some strange or worse. You alright, though?" She nodded hard. "Good. Let's go home, alright?" She stuck close to him, waving Jane a half-hearted wave and entering the car, looking back up at the house. In one of the windows, for just a moment, she saw the gold-masked man, removing his mask and watching her. She didn't know him well, just a boy in her class, but she knew his name.

Eridan Ampora.

**Special shoutout to The-Fandom-That-Lived-Forever for suggesting Roxy/Eridan!**


	16. The House on the Hill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Halloween and the kids have finished their trick-or-treating, but Rose really wants to explore the old Hussie mansion on the hill for extra spooky thrills.

**The House on the Hill  
** _**[One-Shot]** _

"Man, I am exhausted," John sighed with a yawn.

"C'mon man just a few more houses," Dave grinned, slugging him. Rose and Jade hung back a bit, observing the two boys. John had dressed up as a harlequin (which he insisted was one of the scarier things he'd ever seen) while Dave was dressed as Hella Jeff, his hair mussed and wearing a blue body suit.

"Look at these amateurs," Rose joked with an exaggerated sigh. "John, are you really ready to retreat from our excursion already?"

"Well, like-" John sputtered.

"Look Rose, John's got a serious condition," Dave said, straight-faced. "It's called 'hornses ass' syndrome, and it makes him a huge fuckin' pansy."

"Hey, man, shut up!" John replied, slugging him. The girls shook their head, Jade giggling.

"They're so adorable," Jade laughed.

"They do indeed bicker like an old married couple," Rose confirmed. "I wonder just how deep their homoeroticism goes when we aren't around." Jade scrunched up her face. "I agree with you on that sentiment." She turned her attention to the still bickering boys. "Alright, now, are we going to the mansion on the hill this Halloween or am I going to be the only one?" Both boys stopped, color leaving their faces. Even normally stoic Dave was noticeably shaken.

"Wait, THE mansion on the hill?" John asked. "Like, the one up there?"

"Well, it is the closest hill, and it does have a mansion on it, yes," Rose nodded.

"But- What about the stories?" John whispered, clinging to Dave, who responded with a "Hey, man, get off me-"

"Rose," Jade frowned. "Even I have to say this idea sounds kinda… shitty."

"Why? I would love the opportunity to prove all of those imbeciles in class wrong about these supposed stories of terror."

"Yeah, but like… we were all there when they carted out Old Man Hussie's body," John replied. "Someone DID die in there."

"I will give you that, at least," Rose nodded. "But, I am a firm believer that his soul is not haunting the house, and that it was completely an accident. The house is simply old, and Hussie was just a clumsy, innocent old man who wouldn't hurt a fly, bless his soul."

"Maybe," John said, shifting where he stood.

"Also, hate to be the gray cloud on this fuckin' ray of brilliance that is your idea, but the house is condemned," Dave noted. "Like, even if Freddy and Jason ain't having a damn sleepover or it's like Monster House with that fat kid and the nerd who gets the girl even though she's way the hell smarter than him – like, seriously, what was even with that? Plus, didn't that police officer totally die? Wasn't that rated G?"

"What Dave's saying," Jade piped up, pushing Dave aside, "is that the house probably isn't really safe. It may not be haunted-" She shuddered before continuing. "-but, you might trip into a hole or catch yourself on a nail or something. You don't know!"

"We'll be careful. And of course, I'm armed with my mother's ever-present safety tools," Rose replied, her statement punctuated by clicking the button on her flashlight a few times. "So are you all coming with me, or am I going alone?" The three shifted and glanced at one another. "Alright, then, it's settled. You'll all stand watch outside and ensure that I'm not apprehended by police upon my triumphant return. Deal?"

"Really, Rose, why don't we just go home?" John asked as she began making her way up the hill. "We can go watch movies and hang out!"

"Yeah, and Jade and I will make sure John gets no vote in the movie picking. If I have to watch another goddamn Nicholas Cage movie my brain is going to melt out of my eyes," Dave chuckled. "But yeah let's just go back to Egbert's."

"No. I refuse to be beaten by a pile of wood and metal that people claim is possessed by the spirits of those departed. It's childish nonsense, nothing more." The other three sighed, following closely behind her as she ducked through the broken wooden fence and approached the house. They called it a mansion, but it wasn't much bigger than many of the other houses on the street – though it was far older. As they made their way up the cobblestone path, a low rumble resounded from above.

"Okay, Rose, look," Dave said, throwing up his hands. "Whether or not you think this place is haunted, it's gonna start storming in a minute. First, I'd like to say it's textbook fuckin' horror movie stuff with the lightning storm in a haunted house, but also what if this place gets struck and it goes up like burning man?"

"It'll be fine," Rose said offhandedly, focusing on the contours of the home, the glass, broken by repeated vandalizing of children who were afraid. She could swear there was movement within the house. Another intrepid explorer, perhaps? The ghosts people claim walked its halls? "I'm going in now," she said, more for herself than them.

"If you need us, yell," Jade said softly. "As loud as you can. Promise?"

"I promise." She reached for the handle, turning it slowly. She expected the door to open of its own will, but she had to push the heavy wooden door before pressing inside. She clicked on her flashlight, bathing the front room in light. It was a standard living room, with a grandfather clock in one corner, several couches and chairs, a coffee table.

"What's in there?" John asked, his voice trembling.

"It's a living room," Rose said calmly, her nerves returning to her. "It's just a house, John. I'm going in deeper." There wasn't a reply, though she knew they'd want her to come back. She made her way into the hall, her light illuminating several doors along the sides, and a staircase at the end, leading up to the second floor.

She checked each of the doors – a broom closet, a bathroom, a sitting room – before making her way to the staircase. She also noted a door to the side, which she peeked inside and found a set of basement stairs. She'd try to avoid those if she could, and finally she crested the top of the stairs.

"Hello?" she called out, tentatively, though not loud enough to rouse her friends. The room was silent. She took a step inside, the room suddenly illuminated by a flash of lightning. Her breath caught in her throat, a huge, mounted wolf head grinning down at her from the wall. A quick scan around the room brought nothing interesting to her eye and she quickly retreated down the stairs into the main hall.

As she reached the last step, her foot touched something… sticky, and somehow stringy. She knelt down, finding some kind of clinging substance attached to her shoe. Like a spider web, but softer. She turned to find more wisps of the white string clinging to the banister descending into the basement. She took a deep breath, glancing down the hall to the front room and decided to descend, clinging to the railing as she descended into the basement.

She noticed as she was walking down the frightfully creaky steps that the basement was unfinished, as evidenced by the rough, concrete walls, painted a dark gray. Below, her flashlight illuminated more of the strange, sticky substance, coating the walls and floor. She frowned and stepped off of the wood step and onto the floor, hearing something creaking in the darkness.

"Hello?" she demanded, this time more demanding than in the attic room. Her flashlight revealed nothing but darkness, so deep that she couldn't see the far wall, even with her light. She took a few steps in on the dirt floor before turning back toward the staircase, out of habit. It was of course, still there, and no one was on it waiting for her, and she whipped back around with her flashlight.

Her flashlight illuminated a face with glowing red eyes.

She cried out, dropping the light and taking a step back. The flashlight illuminated something… sharp and shining before hitting the ground with a POP and going out entirely. She groped backwards, where she figured the stairs were, finding more and more of that clinging material on the way there. Was there this much before? Was she headed in the right direction? Finally, her hand touched something rough and slick – the painted wall. She sighed, her fingers following it forward and- No. No, this wasn't the wall.

Her hand was shaking now as she slowly traced over the surface, finding rough ridges and finally, with a sharp cry, finding what appeared to be a joint. Rough and leathery and covered in sparse hair, she could tell that she was touching the joint of some kind of… creature, one with a hard outer carapace. And somehow, she wasn't afraid. She traced the limb up, first, to a point, and then back down. Like a bat wing, but hard and smooth. The leg moved and she recoiled, but it simply lifted to meet her own touch. She found that the limb ended in a somewhat sharp point, leathery like the creature's joint, rather than hard like the rest of the carapace. It would explain how the creature moved about without Rose hearing it.

She finally pulled her hand away and received a soft hissing sound in response.

"Please," she whispered. "I'd like to leave this house." She was met with silence, and then the creaking she'd heard before, one that she now assumed was the creature's carapace rubbing against itself and perhaps stretching with strain.

"No." The voice took her aback and she spun, falling to the floor and hitting her head. The deep black all around her flashed red once and then she was dreaming. She dreamt of her friends, and of Halloween, of the dull rumble of thunder and the soft patter of rain, or perhaps the skittering of an insect or animal.

She awoke with a gasp, sweat rolling down her body. She moved to wipe the sweat from her brow, but found that she couldn't move her arms. A quick twist of her torso gave her the same information for the rest of her body: She was bound.

"Please," she called out calmly. "I don't want this. I'd like to leave."

"No," came the voice again, from before she'd passed out. "You can't leave." Was it the creature? Could something be capable of human speech? It was an astounding thought. She squinted in the darkness, trying to make out her captor before seeing a flash of movement in the darkness and feeling a softness pressed to her lips. Another pair of lips? Rose crushed her own lips against the newcomer's, doing the best she could to appease this person and hope they let her go. When their tongue moved into Rose's own mouth, she gasped and thrashed away, desperately trying to get her arms up to massage the strange feeling from her mouth. It was cold and sharp, yet soft as a tongue should be.

"Who are you?" Rose said, moving to wipe her mouth on her shirt and freezing as she realized she was wearing nothing.

"Who are YOU? You trespassed here, not I," the voice came. Intelligence, at least.

"My name is Rose Lalonde. I live just down the street and I came in here out of… curiosity." The voice huffed, obviously not satisfied. "I'm sorry. How can I pay you for trespassing? I want to leave this place."

"I've never seen a human this close. I've never gotten to study one," the voice explained, somewhat breathy. "Psychologically or physically. You're an amazing specimen." Rose felt her cheeks flush with heat and forced the feeling away.

"Psychologically? And does that mean… you aren't human?" she tested, trying to wriggle her way from the bonds.

"Yes, sadly," the female voice sighed. "May I show you? If you try to run, I must warn you, I will eat you." Rose shuddered, and found with surprise that she believed the threat.

"I can't move very far anyway," she replied slowly. "You've gotten me all tied up."

"That I do. One moment." There was a flash of light and Rose closed her eyes tight against it. "You can look." Rose opened her eyes, squinting in the bright light, and nearly jumped. There was a spider in front of her face. No… that wasn't right. She forced her eyes open, watering at the intense light, and saw what she thought she'd seen. From the waist up, it was the figure of a nude woman, and below that was the hard exoskeleton of a spider.

"Look at that," Rose muttered softly. "What are you?" The creature shrugged, flipping her hair behind her.

"I'm something new," she responded simply. "I don't know. Part spider, part human. I was raised here by Andrew. My name is Aranea. It is, quite honestly, very interesting to see another human since Andrew left. There were people who came in suits to shut down the house and I had to kill one of them. They put up yellow tape and so many people have avoided the house. Some throw rocks at it, and I thought they knew I was here, but now I'm not quite sure."

"No one knows you exist," Rose replied, doing her best to stare directly into Aranea's eyes, not her naked body, her spider parts, or Rose's own nude figure. "May I be let down? I won't run, and I don't plan on spilling your secret." Aranea frowned and moved toward her with a surprising quickness, fidgeting with the bonds – a web, Rose found – until she was able to move freely once more.

"As I said before, you are an amazing specimen," Aranea commented, skittering around Rose to examine every inch of her. "It's so interesting. These are for producing milk, correct?" she asked, moving close enough that she could use her human arms to prod at Rose's breasts.

"Mmn, yes, that's correct," she nodded.

"And this is your sexual organ?" Aranea asked, touching Rose's bare pussy, eliciting a sharp gasp.

"Y-yes," Rose replied.

"Interesting… and there's enough room for both pedipalps inside? It seems so shallow and narrow." Aranea's fingers moved and twisted into Rose, causing her to cry out, though Aranea seemed to ignore her.

"B-both what?" Rose gasped, clinging to Aranea's upper half as the spider-girl continued her exploration.

"Pedipalps," she responded, waving her smaller, front legs on her arachnid body. "Do humans not have these?" Rose shook her head. "Are you quite alright? You're not ill, are you?"

"P-p-pleasure response," Rose managed to stammer.

"Oh, from this?" Aranea asked, pushing her fingers deeper and Rose's legs gave out. Aranea was quick to grab her and hold her up as her fingers continued to work her. "I'm only kidding, of course. I have a similar organ myself, along the bottom of my abdomen. It's not nearly as strong as this, however. Look at you." Aranea broke into a wide grin, her teeth sharp, like needles, her red eyes bright as she continued to work Rose, causing her to sweat and groan, her own hands moving up to her breasts. "These too? My, humans have so many erogenous zones. How do you function like this? You were wearing clothes before, wouldn't those trigger the pleasure response as well, or has it simply been worn down over so long wearing something over them? Hmm." Her fingers twisted, her thumb accidentally rubbing Rose's clit and causing her to thrash in her grip. "Ahh, there it is. Hmm, let me see."

Aranea gingerly set Rose down on the ground, lowering her body so that she could continue fingering Rose hard and deep, though now she lowered her mouth to Rose's sex and began slowly working her long, cold tongue against Rose's clit.

"Oh my god," Rose whimpered, fingers twisting into Aranea's hair as her body bucked and writhed against her. "Please… I'm so close…"

"Mmf," Aranea said, trying to speak before getting an obviously frustrated look on her face that she couldn't continue to comment on the procedure, before going to work Rose harder and faster, wanting it to be over. Rose's own hands were busy massaging her breasts, feeling the spider-girl's tongue working over her clit and feeling the insanely full feeling of fingers pumping into her sending her over the edge as she screamed, Aranea holding her down as she came hard, cumming harder when Aranea pushed her tongue into Rose to retrieve every bit of her orgasm. Finally she pulled back, both girls panting as Aranea licked her fingers clean.

"Mmm…" she grinned, licking her lips. "Perfect." Suddenly, she lunged forward, biting Rose hard on the neck and causing her to cry out. "I'm sorry, dear, but you're far too wonderful for me to let go. There's so much for me to learn."

"What-?" Rose asked before her vision began to blur and twist. "Poison?"

"Venom, actually," Aranea beamed. "Another wonderful perk to being part spider. Now sleep. Tomorrow I'll show you how to please me as well." Rose struggled, trying to raise a hand but finding even that strength had left her as her mind went blank.


	17. Pizza Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave leaves for a friend's while Bro is ordering pizza, who finds himself entranced with the delivery man.

**Chapter Seventeen**

**[One Shot]**

"Bro, order us up some pizza," Dave shouted from the living room.

"How about YOU order the pizza, Dave?"

"Last time I ordered, you complained for days about how I put mushrooms on Hawaiian pizza."

"Because you don't DO that, it's not civil! Ugh, fine, you know what? I got this. Don't even move."

"Didn't plan on it, Bro." Dirk shook his head. Little brothers, sometimes. He dialed the pizza number and waited.

" _Hello, thith ith Peetha Hut, how can I help you?_ " the kid on the other line asked with a lisp. Dirk blinked.

"Uh, oh, yeah. Two Hawaiian pizzas and a sausage."

" _Ith that all?_ "

"Yeah, that'th- er, that's all. Yeah."

" _That'll be 32.54, ekthpect it there in twenty._ " Dirk hung up the phone and paused. That kid's lisp was... cute. More than that...  _adorable_. He normally didn't go for guys, but when he did, he found it was always uncomfortable and weird. Like Dave's friend's grandpa.

"Yo, Bro, goin' to John's," Dave said, passing him in the hall.

"Man, are you kidding me? I JUST ordered our pizzas."

"Fridge, man. I'll be back in a bit." Dirk groaned as Dave left, then something sparked. What if the pizza boy with the lisp delivered? Dirk ran and put on his best cologne, "Ode de Bro", and sat by the door.

"What are you doing?" he asked himself. "Some pizza kid isn't going to bone you just because you smell fucking fantastic, look awesome, and have a house full of smuppets. Think, Dirk." He frowned. "Maybe... Maybe I can  _GIVE_  him a smuppet. I'll bet he'll love it." He jumped up and grabbed a handful of smuppets from around the house, setting them around his chair as he sat next to the door. "I hope he likes smuppets. Man, who am I kidding? OF COURSE he will. Everyone loves smuppets." Outside, Dirk saw the Pizza Hut car pull up. "Oh man. Here we go." The kid came up the walk and rang the doorbell. "Thirty seconds, Dirk. Don't seem desperate, don't fucking BLOW this man."

He took a deep breath, then swung the door open. "Hello, handsome," Dirk said, grinning coyly. The kid was lanky, about 19 or 20, with a pair of red and blue 3D glasses on.

"32.54," he said curtly.

"How about I pay you, in love?" Dirk grinned, unbuttoning his shirt.

"...no, I need the payment in cash."

"Oh, come on, kid, you don't want any of THIS?" He flexed his arms.

"No. Thirty-one ninety- ...ith that a thmuppet?"

"Why, yes. Yes it is. I make them myself, actually."

"One blue, one red and I'll... bone you, or whatever."

"Deal!" The boy came in, setting down the pizzas and unbuttoning his jeans.

"I've only got twenty minuteth, tho let'th make thith quick." Dirk grinned, unbuttoning his own jeans as the lanky kid pulled his off. "Thollukth, by the way. With an eth."

"Sollux?" The kid nodded. "I'm Dick- er, uh, Dirk. Not Dick, Dirk." Sollux smirked and chuckled.

"Gonna hurry up, Dick?" Dirk grinned and nodded, kneeling in front of the boy as he removed his boxers. Dirk quickly took hold of his member, licking carefully. Sollux smiled, resting a hand on Dirk's head and leaning back. Dirk started slowly, licking along the shaft, kissing, nibbling gently, before circling his tongue around the head and taking it into his mouth.

"Ohh, yeah..." Sollux moaned. Dirk smiled, humming softly as he moved up and down the pizza boy's cock.

"Mmmm," Dirk hummed. Sollux took his head, beginning to thrust in and out, allowing Dirk to rest his neck as Sollux did the wwork.

"You want more, handthome?" Sollux grinned.

"Mmhm!" Dirk replied.

"Bend over." Dirk happily pulled off with a pop, bending over the couch. Sollux lined himself up, pushing slowly at first, until finally he was inside. Dirk groaned loudly, biting the couch cushions and panting as the lean pizza boy began to pump faster, deeper, harder.

"Oooh, Sollux," Dirk groaned.

"Mmm, Dirk, you're tho tight..." Sollux grabbed Dirk's hair, eliciting a gasp as he began going even harder and faster than before, using Dirk's hair as an anchor.

"Oh, god, Sollux, do it!" The lean boy was panting and grunting now, and finally released a loud growl, filling Dirk as the older boy groaned and whimpered. Sollux finally pulled out, panting.

"Red and blue?" he panted, and Dirk nodded. "Here'th my number," Sollux said, handing him a card. "Call me later."

"Okay," Dirk panted, pulling up his boxers. Sollux turned, opening the door, and finding Dave standing there, key at the ready.

"Oh. Yo, sup, pizza man?" Sollux nodded and pushed past as Dave entered. "Sorry, Bro, John had some game he wanted me to check out so he burned me a copy and told me to get on my computer. You... enjoy your evening?" He grinned.

"Shut up," Dirk groaned, grinning.

"I'll be in my room playing Sburb, fairy," Dave teased with a chuckle, and Dirk laughed.

"Yeah, better go to your- ...wait. Playing what? Dave?"


	18. Prisoner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Summoner finds himself ensnared in the web of someone sinister and violent, and plans to use her prisoner accordingly.

**Prisoner  
[One Shot]**

The bronzeblood panted softly, wincing at his wounds, and the cold on his back. The room looked rustic and wooden, like the hold of a ship, but to the touch, the walls and floor were icy, like metal. His hands were bound above him, and his ashen skin was laid bare, small lines across the surface where his blood pooled through and congealed; shallow wounds that still stung, but wouldn't leave any lasting damage. His wings were pinned behind his back painfully, pushed to one side so one half of his back ached and throbbed, and he could feel bruises forming already. His mouth tasted of blood and the orange and blue bloods mixed on his lips and teeth, forming a disgusting, pale purple color. He grimaced as he breathed, his chest and ribs battered and bruised like the rest of his body.

He heard a slow and deliberate "tap, tap, tap" of a hard object against metal and he straightened up considerably. Now was no time to show weakness.

"Rufioh," the blue blood said as she entered with a wide grin. "Always a pleasure."

"Aranea," he spat. Her grin fell and her eyes grew dark as she rushed forward, grabbing his face.

"Do NOT use that name. My name is Spinneret Mindfang. Do you understand?" she growled. He turned to look away and was met with a hard backhand, making him gasp as his mouth stung, an orange bruise already forming. "I asked if you understood, you rustblood."

"Y-yes, Marquise," he replied softly.

"Good. How has my plaything been today?" Mindfang moved to sit at the table in the room, pouring herself a large tankard of rum. "Have you been good?"

"Please, Ar- Spinneret, please. Let me go."

"Let you go?" she laughed, downing half the mug in one swallow. "Why on Alternia would I do that when we've been enjoying each other's' company so much? It's a win-win relationship, my dear Rufioh." She grinned, moving behind him and he froze. "I scratch YOUR back," she said as she raked her nails hard against his back, making him cry out as she drew blood. "And you scratch mine." She bit hard into the nape of his neck, adding to the many bruises and bite marks already blemishing his neck and shoulders. "Come now, Rufioh, are you saying you don't enjoy this?"

"What do you want?" he growled, snarling. "Why are you keeping me here?" She sighed, bringing a chair before him, backwards so she could lean on its back while she spoke to him.

"Have you ever tried to outrun fate, my dear Rufioh?"

"What?" he asked, eyes narrowing.

"Knowing the future… is it a gift, or a burden?" She sighed, running her fingers along the back of the chair. "Sometimes I don't know. I wish I hadn't peered into things I shouldn't have, Rufioh. But I think that maybe…" She kicked the chair away, approaching him. "Just maybe…" She grinned, slowly running her tongue along his neck, drinking away the blood. "I can make my own destiny. What do you think?"

"You're a crazy, sadistic bitch," he replied, spitting into her face. She reeled back, face blushing a dark cerulean as she smacked him hard again, jerking his face to one side.

"How DARE you?" she growled. "How DARE you? I am your superior! I am your captor! You're on MY ship, Rufioh! I could KILL you without a second thought! Do you think I'm above that? That I wouldn't slit your throat right here, simply to watch the blood trickle from your neck?" For a moment, he truly considered she would. She seethed for a moment, groaning and storming out of the room and Rufioh sighed, letting himself slump in his bonds again, his eyes closing. She was gone and he could finally relax. However, as soon as he did, he heard a sharp CRACK and his eyes flew open. He should've heard her heels if she'd entered.

No, he must've dozed off. Very little light trickled into the room from outside, and a gas lamp on the table behind Mindfang illuminated her silhouette, her sharp teeth glowing in the light.

"You were very tired, Rufioh," she said softly, cracking the whip in her hand again. "Do you know how long you've been out?"

"I-I-" he coughed, his mouth dry. How long HAD he been out?

"It's very impolite to keep a lady waiting," she said, her grin now a nasty snarl. "And you know what highbloods do to those who wrong them." His eyes widened only a fraction of a second before the whip landed, his body surging with pain as he cried out. Already the bruise began forming, a thick line of orange beneath his skin. "That won't do," she muttered, lashing out again, receiving another cry of pain. "Bruises aren't enough. You need to really feel your punishment." Again and again the whip sliced at his skin, tough as it was, it finally broke, making him gasp loudly as his head spun, bronze blood trickling down his chest in thick lines. "There. Have you repented yet, knave?"

"P-please," he croaked. "I'm sorry…"

"You're not sorry yet," she growled, moving to the table to set down the whip. "But you will be." After a moment of rummaging around on the table, she turned, holding several leather straps in her hands. "Come now, pet. You're going to apologize."

"I'm s-" She thrashed out, smacking him across the face, nails raking against his cheek.

"Not like that," she growled. She reached up, undoing the cuffs from the ceiling, bringing them close to his face and cuffing his wrists and neck to the leather strips. "Perfect." She grabbed what appeared to be a chain attached to the leather strips and yanked hard, forcing him down. He reached out, trying to catch himself with his bound hands, but instead fell face first into the wood-painted metal floor. "Now, Rufioh. Beg."

"B-beg?"

"Yes," she snarled, pressing the heel of her stiletto into his back, above his wings. "I said beg!"

"P-please, Mindfang! D-don't do this…"

"Not like that," she grinned, cupping his chin and forcing him to look up at her. "Beg for more." He flushed orange.

"S-Spinneret…"

"You heard me," she cooed softly. "Now."

"P-please…" He paused. For a moment, he considered his pride and how he was once a strong warrior. He could cut down swathes of highbloods in the name of the Signless, fighting the good fight for peace and what was right, and now at the heels of this treacherous blueblood he was forced to his knees and made to beg. What would the others think of him now? "Please, Spinneret," the words spilled from his lips before he could stop them. "More…"

"Good little lowblood," she sneered, grabbing a metal ring and securing it around his neck before moving to the table, facing him as she leaned back against it. "What do you want?"

"Wh-what do I want?" he asked, unsure of how to answer. "I want… to go… free?"

"Wrong," she sighed, a tone of boredom lining her voice as she reached to her side, pressing a button on a small remote. He thrashed as electricity shot through his body, his wings fluttering helplessly, finally gasping as she released the button. "What do you want, rustblood?"

"I-I want-" He paused. "M-more."

"More of what?" she grinned, holding up the remote. "This?"

"N-no!"

"What then?"

"Of… you."

"Of me?" she asked, feigning surprise, though by the tone he could tell he finally did right.

"Yes, Marquise. I need you."

"Good, little Rufioh." She smirked, closing her eyes and leaning her head back as she kicked off her stilettos, purring softly in her throat. "What would you like to see?"

"Y-you," he stammered, his voice betraying him. "A-all of you, Marquise…" She grinned, reaching under her long dress, slowly rolling down her stockings. Rufioh swallowed hard as her ashen skin was slowly revealed down her long legs.

"Do you like this, lowblood? You've cut down so many like me, and now you're begging to take me. Or, rather, for me to take you." She smirked and her words stung. She was right. He shouldn't want this at all, and yet, somehow, something about her was alluring. He'd never taken another, and hadn't planned on it, but seeing her…

"Yes, Spinneret," he said softly. "I want it." She grinned, finally rolling her stockings off completely, moving to him and beginning to unbutton her blouse. "Please, Spinneret…" She grabbed him by his mohawk, yanking hard.

"Please what, lowblood?"

"P-please, let me have you…" She paused for a moment, looking over him and finally moving to unclip his wings. He fluttered them for a moment, getting used to the feeling of them being free once more before she spread them out.

"Lay on your back," she commanded. He frowned, attempting to maneuver the bonds around his wrist and neck, eventually settling his arms above his head as he lied down on the metal floor, his wings splayed out behind him. She smirked, lifting her dress, black and decorated with blue markings, as she positioned herself above him. He almost gasped when he saw she wasn't wearing anything underneath – neither nether-region or chest protection. "Come now, Rufioh," she grinned, running hand through his black and red hair. "You said you wanted me. Show me." She ground her hips to his face and he hesitated, turning away from her. "I said show me," she growled, gripping his horns like handles, forcing him to face her as she pushed with her hips once more.

He groaned, her moist entrance pushing against his face without much he could do about it. He grimaced as she ground against him, feeling her body vibrate softly as she purred.

"Come on, Rufioh, you can put a bit more effort into it," she grinned, gripping his horns tighter, closer to the base where they were more sensitive. He tried suppressing a moan, but his lips slipped open just a tiny bit, allowing her juices to flow into his mouth. He groaned, the aphrodisiac almost immediately overwhelming him with pheromones. "Good boy," his oppressor grinned, moving her hands back to his hair as his mouth opened a bit more, his tongue slowly sliding against her as she ground against him. "Are you going to be good, Rufioh? Can I release you?" He nodded against her, his tongue probing her entrance, finding her clit and circling it slowly. She jerked and gasped, moaning as she undid his bonds. Immediately, he yanked the strap from his throat, pushing Spinneret to the ground and climbing atop her.

"Aranea," he muttered softly, looking into her eyes for a moment before kissing her hard, giving her a taste of her own juices. Her body jerked and twitched in response to the influx of pheromones and she cupped his face as they kissed. His hands wandered to her corset, undoing the fastenings and tearing it off of her before moving to her dress. She moved to his neck, kissing and biting him as he groaned, tearing what little fabric was left on her away from her body, their bodies pressed tight to one another.

"Rufioh," she panted softly, raking her nails down his back before pushing him off of her. She grinned, moving to the table and throwing most of its contents onto the floor before hopping atop it, sitting at the edge of the table. "Come." He moved forward quickly, his wings fluttering excitedly as he kissed her hard, one hand moving between her legs as she whimpered, her hands stroking slowly down his chest, eventually stopping at his large member.

He paused, the pheromone beginning to flee his system quickly, his head beginning to clear. He was free. He could attempt to flee the ship – or, better, he could simply kill the notorious pirate here and now and be done with it.

"Rufioh," she hissed, looking up at him questioningly as she slowly stroked him. He took in a deep breath, slowly pushing his fingers into her as she groaned, grinning and running a hand through her hair. "Oh, yes…" He moaned softly, kissing her as he began to slowly work his fingers in and out of her, letting her guide him to her entrance, soaked with her cerulean juices. "Do it," she growled. "Do it now." He reached up, gripping her hair near her horns as she gasped and stiffened before grinning and slowly pushing into her. She whimpered and panted heavily, gripping his horns as he bit into her neck, his teeth piercing the skin as he began to taste her blue blood dripping from her neck. She whimpered, wrapping her ashen legs tightly around his waist, bucking and panting as he thrust deeper into her.

"Aranea," he groaned, grabbing her waist and pulling her up. She gasped as he sat her up and then pulled her from the table, her legs around his waist and arms around his neck tightly, the much larger orange blood holding her hips to keep her aloft, pumping slow at first, but quickly gaining speed. She squealed and ground her body against him as he pumped faster, feeling sweat already beginning to drip down his brow.

"On your back," she demanded in a surprisingly calm voice and he quickly complied, setting her down and lying back for her to climb on top of him, grinning. Slowly, she rubbed herself along his length, groaning and whimpering, before slowly pushing him into her. "Ooh, Rufioh…" she cooed, grinding against him and feeling him fill her up. He grunted, head tilted back as she moved back and forth on top of him. "I'm close…" He could feel it; inside of her, she was beginning to contract and he could feel a part inside of her tensing, where her genetic material was stored. He flushed orange, her body's reaction fueling his own as he felt himself strain, hips bucking lightly. Suddenly, she pulled from him, turning quickly and positioning herself over him as before. He moved to get up but her mouth was quickly on him and he shuddered, unable to move, the aphrodisiac of her body filling his nostrils and mouth and forcing him to please her once more.

She groaned and squealed, body thrashing above him as she reached climax, filling his mouth with her genetic material as he flushed bright orange, the act incredibly taboo, as he began to cum as well, gripping her head and holding it on him as he filled her with his material as well. She whimpered, sitting patiently and drinking as much as she could before coughing violently and pulling off of him with a gasp. He was beginning to have trouble breathing, his vision sparking and popping and his chest hurting until finally she rose off of him, giving him a breath of fresh air as he gasped hard. His head still swam with the waves of pleasure ripping through him both from his orgasm and her natural drug inside him and he dully noted something cold against his feet and hands. Upon regaining full sensation of his body, he realized he was once again chained up in the room, and alone.

"Spinneret?" he called out. He had thought maybe she'd changed. He'd been used. "ARANEA!"


	19. Cascading

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's no sleep for Derse Dreamers on the meteor.

**Cascading**   
**_[Continued Series: Cascading, Part One]_ **

The meteor was silent. Everyone was asleep, thanks to the dark and the intense quiet that shrouded the hunk of rock, hurtling through deep space at a speed roughly equitable to the speed of light.

And yet, somehow, the dark and the silence kept Rose awake.

She sat up in bed, only having been on the small slice of Skaia for a little while now, roughly a week, and even now she had trouble sleeping. She got up tentatively, her room little more than a small chamber for study, hollowed out of its scientific equipment and left with a bed and a dressing screen for her to change into her clothes, though she rarely changed out of her Seer outfit.

She slipped off her shoes and got to her feet, shuddering and wiggling her toes against the intensely cold slab of metal that made up the floor. She padded out of her room and into the hall, quiet aside from the sound of a light wind around the meteor that came from their supernatural speed. She made her way down the hall and into the communal chamber they shared. Things were strewn about in little semblance of order, though each person had a pile of their own. Dave had his pile of shitty swords and various Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff artifacts, Kanaya had her clothes and various sewing utensils, Terezi's scalemates were piled on and around a group of cans that was slowly becoming a flourishing town, and Rose's own things, a book and various other items she'd found around the meteor, sat quietly on a table.

She moved over to them, thumbing through the thick tome and smiling idly, absorbing the information within.

"Look at that Lalonde grin." She jumped, spinning and touching her side, where her Thorns were safely tucked into her Seer garb. Dave threw his hands up. "Hey, sorry, just got up for some juice."

"Sorry," she sighed, turning back to her book. "It's… harder to see things on this meteor. I haven't gotten used to using my powers in this atmosphere yet."

"No fuckin' joke," Dave replied, moving to the fridge to grab a bottle of apple juice and popping off the lid. "I tried traveling a few minutes into the future the other day and the damn meteor was long gone, and I was just sitting like a chump in deep space, getting probed by Cthulhu proboscis." Rose frowned.

"So you remained still, but the meteor moved on and your time powers didn't allow you to move with it?"

"I guess," he replied with a shrug. He yawned and stretched. "Fuck, man. I'm so damn tired and it's hard falling asleep with that stupid clown in the damned walls."

"You're having trouble sleeping too?"

"Well, I mean like, not really trouble sleeping per se, but like." She moved forward swiftly, grabbing his shades. "Whoa hey not fucking cool." She studied his eyes, and the dark circles under them.

"You haven't been sleeping either."

"Fine, no, not really," he replied, snatching his glasses and regaining his cool demeanor. "It's a bit difficult. I'm used to the city life. Always sirens and breaking glass and Bro throwing puppets all up in my business. It's only been a week since we left home. Not used to it."

"I'm used to the cursing of my mother and the soft patter of rain," Rose said, closing her eyes. "She used to work late, on God only knows what, sometimes breaking wine glasses or other glass objects. The occasional flash of lightning lulled me to sleep with its rhythmic pulse, my plush wizard dolls in my arms. I miss it."

"Me too," Dave muttered. "I mean. Not the shitty wizard part obviously. Because that'd be fucking weird. I didn't have dolls or anything."

"You didn't sleep with anything? Lil Cal, perhaps?"

"What? Fuck no. The only things in that damn house were smuppets, Lil Cal, and Bro, and I didn't want any of that in my bed."

"Oh? You sure you didn't drift off to sleep like a babe, with the imagery of the close at hand phallic dolls your brother so lovingly sewed for you?"

"Shut up," he smirked, shoving her.

"I'd almost think that you liked it more because it was your brother's gift. Someone close to you perhaps?"

"Hey, I said shut up," he replied, rubbing his arm. "That's fuckin' weird. You're my sister too, you know."

"I know." Silence filled the room for a pregnant moment, neither looking one another in the eyes. "I miss having something to hold at night." Dave was silent. "Sometimes mother would come into my room when she thought I was sleeping and kiss my head, tell me she loved me, and hold me. I thought that she was being facetious, and knew that I was awake but… I don't think she did."

"Yeah," Dave said softly.

"Hold me," she said suddenly, turning to him.

"Huh-?"

"Let's go to bed. I want to be held. We'll both fall asleep better."

"Whoa, wait, I dunno if that's-"

"Please," she said softly. He scratched his neck, looking around.

"Rose… You're basically my sister, you know that?"

"I know." She looked into his sunglasses, hoping that she was meeting his eyes. Finally he sighed, shaking his head.

"Fine. Fine, let's go." She stood, following behind him to his room, which was similar to hers but instead of a bed he simply had a mountain of comforters and sheets on the ground, which he appeared to have nestled into like a nest. "Sorry about not having a bed or anything."

"It's fine," she said, slipping into the covers. He opened his mouth to say something, then promptly shut it, climbing in after her. "What were you going to say?" she asked, resting her hand on his chest, her face against his shoulder.

"Nothing," he grunted, arm wrapped around her shoulder.

"You can tell me," she said, looking up at him and tugging away his sunglasses.

"Yeah, I know. Like. It's just that these sheets get hella hot at night and I usually don't sleep in my Knight getup."

"Oh."

"Right." There was a pause. "But, obviously if you're here I can keep it on."

"Of course. Modesty and all that."

"Yup." Another pause, heavy and full of meaning. Dave finally gave a groaning sigh, untangling them briefly and beginning to tug his shirt off over his head as Rose slipped out of her Seer's dress, leaving just her orange bra and panties, returning to her spot against Dave's skin as he finished slipping out of his pants, his record-decorated boxers the only remaining clothing. "Orange, though? Really?" he asked, his tone already slower and sleepier.

"Hmm?"

"Your p… underwear," he replied formally. "It's orange. I expected black, maybe purple."

"No. After I started wearing my Seer outfit, I began to like orange and yellow. Maybe I was always meant to anyway."

"Maybe," he said, resting his own face in her hair. She nuzzled his neck, clinging tight against his body, feeling his taut skin against her own, trying to control her breathing. She'd only ever had a human that wasn't her mother within touching distance for a week, and now she was cuddled up against her long-time best friend and ectobiological brother, feeling his heart beat in his neck, smelling his natural musk and trying to contain hormones she shouldn't feel. "Is this weird?" he muttered.

"No. Is it weird for you?" she asked.

"I dunno," he shrugged. "I kind of have a boner." She snorted and shook her head.

"Is it from my devilishly good looking body? I'm, very likely, the first female you've ever had so close to you. Why, might I even tread so far as to think you're a virgin?"

"Yeah, actually."

"I-…oh."

"What?"

"I expected more of a response than that. Or a denial."

"Nah. It's all cool. Me and bro lived in that apartment forever, like a damn sausage-fest. Sometimes he took me to, like, the store and stuff, so I obviously saw other people, and I had the internet so there was obviously the choice lady on my flat screen whenever I got some Dave time, but otherwise nope. You're it, Lalonde."

"I… see."

"Wait. Don't tell me YOU'RE a virgin?"

"I don't believe that we were talking about me."

"Holy shit you are! This is some serious news. Superbabe Lalonde hasn't ever touched a stud before? That's crazy."

"My story's similar to yours. A few ventures into the outside world was all my mother ever provided."

"Huh." There was a long silence and Rose could hear Dave's heartbeat begin to beat faster. Or was that her own? "So you've never kissed a guy either?"

"No," she replied softly.

"Me either. Or a girl," he added with a grin. She rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to speak, but Dave's hand was on her chin, pulling her in for a kiss. Her skin prickled and stung with goosebumps, her body shivering and reacting violently to the new, intense feeling. Her lips pressed against his, mashing in an almost desperate manner, trying to elicit the same thing from him, eventually getting a groan that forced her body to calm down, breaking the kiss.

"Oh," she said simply.

"Yeah," he replied. He tugged her to her chest, and remained silent, Rose feeling her own heart pounding away in her head, her loins on fire and dripping wet, but realizing with frustration that Dave's breathing was slowing, lulling him to sleep. Surprisingly, his warmth, closeness, and the sound of his breath was making her rather exhausted as well, and as she vowed to get more of the intense feelings from him, she found her own eyes closing, forcing her into unconsciousness. **  
**


	20. Castle Storming 101

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here comes big knight Dave Strider, here to slay the dragon and save the day.

**Castle Storming 101  
[One-Shot]**

The sword was warm in his hand. The leather handle was soaked through with sweat and the blade itself was shining with the light from below. Maybe the warmth came from within himself, channeled into a heat so hot that he couldn't handle it himself, his literal sick fires themselves imbued into the blade and causing a natural reaction, forcing him to fight down his own instinct to drop it like it's hot (which, of course, it is).

Or, of course, it could've been from the lava pool surrounding the castle, as well. He stood on the cliff, looking down into the ravine between him and the brown, almost wood-like castle. Deep below, there were small black rocks that formed a path up to the main entrance of the castle.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" he sighed, whipping his sword around to dig into the cliff wall and using it as a handhold as he began to descend. "This is like textbook fucking castle storming right here. Literal moat made of lava. The little path down there probably isn't going to do shit, and a god damn dragon is gonna come out of the lava right before I make my way to the castle, and I'm gonna be like 'oh man look at this huge fucking lizard' and it's going to use its fire breath to stop me from reaching the castle." He swore as his foot kicked a rock loose, swinging from one hand, only his sword embedded into the rock preventing him from falling to his death, and yet his expression still stoic.

"And I mean honestly," he continued, regaining his footing and continuing his descent, the lava reflected in the black eyewear across his eyes. "I'm gonna get my ass handed to me. Once again: Castle storming 101, it's like I'm in the third fucking grade and Mrs. Johnson is writing on the chalkboard 'HOW TO STORM A CASTLE', and step goddamn one is 'cross the lava pit and fight the dragon'. There's some scribbles in the corner that the damn delinquent student made with the dragon eating the hero and Mrs. Johnson just chuckles because she knows how fuckin' likely and true it is." He finally reached the bottom, dropping onto one of the large black rocks floating in the water, causing it to rock and kick up magma.

"Oh man look at that. Typical rock behavior. Oh, rock's floating on something? You land on it all dramatic and it splashes up whatever it's floating in like, 'remember that there's something below you, and you're cast adrift in an ocean of dumb bullshit'. It's like a metaphor for what I'm doing right fucking now." He shook his head, deftly jumping across onto the next rock, then the next, making his way along the long, winding path up to the castle. "Oh man, here it comes." He finished his jump, landing on the last rock and turning as a few bubbles broke the surface of the lava. As the last one popped, a massive white figure shot forward, up and out of the boiling liquid. Gouts of flame shot from its open maw, its wings spread wide, nearly as wide as the rock Dave was standing on.

"Oh man, look at this huge fuck-" The dragon screamed, a jet of flame shooting towards Dave, who raised his sword, the flames repelled by the magic blade. "Damn straight." The dragon moved forward, pumping its wings and moving toward him as he hacked away at the vine-esque entrance on the door. "Shit- c'mon- open the fuck up you piece of- there it is!" He kicked the now clear door open, diving inside as the dragon flew past him, spreading itself out within the interior of the castle, which Dave could now see was more than just wood-like. He darted behind a twisted pillar, gripping his sword and adjusting his shades.

"Alright you oversized iguana, I'm about to crush you like a fat, ham-fisted kid crushes a bug. Trying to prove my worth to myself, since I can't prove it to my over-achieving dad who has loftier hopes than I can ever dream to accomplish. The simple act of crushing the bug validating my- oh fuck," he grimaced, his monologue cut short as the dragon swiped with its massive claws, cutting just a few threads from Dave's knightly hood. "Heh. Classic." He moved to the next pillar, repeating his strategy of using his sword as a climbing implement, but backwards this time, ascending the pillar to a capstone and holding his position there. The dragon screamed once more, moving behind the pillar but not finding the Knight, pausing in confusion. "Ollie fuckin' oop." He dropped down off of the gnarled wood pillar, thrusting his sword below him and stabbing through the white scales of the dragon, causing a loud scream to erupt from its belly, billowing flames as the red stained the white of its hide.

"Oh come on calm down we both knew it was coming," Dave consoled the beast as it felt to its knees, arms just too short to reach the back of its neck where Dave had stabbed. He withdrew the sword as the dragon finally fell lifeless to the ground, unmoving. "Not gonna get back up or anything? When I come down these stairs you better not open a damn eye like 'oh shit look who's gonna come back'. You're dead, got it?" He gave the side of the dragon's head a kick for good measure and moved to the staircase, retrieving a map from his satchel. "Alright, sick, step one done. Kill dragon. Step two, find phat fuckin' loot. Little gold pile drawn here for good measure. Nice notation, Galileo."

He took the steps two at a time, sheathing his now bloodied sword as he crested the top of the stairs, a door between him and one of the three towers atop the castle, looking like branches of a tree. "And a one and a two and a-" He kicked the door in, pausing to find a very stunned looking young woman. "Wait. What?"

"Who are you?" she asked, standing and reaching beside her to grab a cane.

"Okay no wait, seriously, what?"

"Who are you and what are you doing in my castle?" she demanded, bringing her cane up like a blade.

"Hold up. So. That pile of gold on the map is… a girl?"

"What map? What pile of gold?"

"Do I even have the right castle? Hold on, I'm really turned around now." The girl studied him quizzically as he entered, sitting on her bed. "Okay, so let's see. This is the tree castle."

"Right," she said tentatively.

"The one guarded by a massive fuckin' dragon, and is supposed to have a ton of sick treasures inside for me to pillage, all knight-like."

"I don't think there's any treasure," she replied with a frown.

"Well no, now that I'm here I can see that. I mean, not to say you aren't a choice catch yourself, if I'm not kidding anyone. Like, have you seen yourself lately? Damn."

"No, I haven't," she replied flatly. "Are you making fun of my blindness?"

"What- no, no way. Are you blind?"

"Isn't it obvious?" she frowned. "I've got a walking cane, red glasses, and I'm being held in a castle guarded by a dragon."

"Okay, well yes, I guess I could've figured from the cane and maybe the glasses but… the castle and dragon? Not exactly typical 'my daughter's blind' behavior."

"Hm."

"Right." He sat there for a moment and pulled off his shades. As he did so, she sniffed the air.

"Is that… cherries?"

"Huh-?" He looked over to see a bright red tongue in his face, assaulting his eyeballs. "Hey, fuck, cut that out!"

"But your eyes taste so good!" she whined.

"What do you mean?" he asked, flabbergasted, returning his shades to his eyes for protection.

"I can taste the color of your eyes. They're bright, cherry red, like your sword."

"Oh. You can… taste colors?"

"Of course. Blind, remember?"

"Yeah, no, I think you have some issues realizing what 'blind' means. So you can… basically see with your tongue?"

"And nose," she smiled, tapping the side of her freckled nose.

"Huh." She sniffed.

"I smell… oh."

"Huh what?"

"No, nothing," she replied with a blush.

"Alright, you gotta tell me what you smell. It's like, knight-saving-princess etiquette."

"Really?"

"Yeah sure."

"I smell… you."

"Yeah?"

"You're… thinking about me."

"What do you mean- oh. Fuck. You can smell that?" She nodded, moving a bit closer. "Yeah well like I said you're just, uh, attractive," he coughed. "It's not a big deal."

"It's not?" she asked, settling into his lap.

"Oh god uh no it's not a big deal," he muttered, hands in the air, not knowing where to place them, his face remaining stoic as ever.

"It seems like a pretty… big deal," she smirked.

"I caught that innuendo, you know. Like, it soared right toward me like a damn homerun ball and I fuckin' whipped out my baseball mitt which I keep handy for just such occasions and- mmf!" Her lips crushed to his, cutting his story short with a nearly pointed tongue that darted into his mouth for a moment before he pulled back. "Oh sweet jesus hold up, little princess lady."

"I'm not a princess," she pouted, crossing her arms. "And why stop? I can feel that you want me." She punctuated her statement by grinding her hips hard and making his arms shake.

"Unh, yeah, you sure can, and because, I dunno, I feel like I'm just taking advantage of you. You're not a princess? Why are you up here?"

"Like I said-"

"Right, blind, whatever. But if I just… I dunno, kick down your castle door and ravage you, that seems a bit… insensitive."

"Take me back with you, then. You don't have to leave me here."

"I mean true. But you're…"

"The treasure," she grinned, blind eyes sparkling behind her glasses. "You wanted a treasure, and now here I am." He inhaled sharply.

"Ugh, alright fine." He gripped her, kissing her hard and running his hands up her back, receiving a delighted giggle as she tugged off her glasses and reached for his. "Whoa wait no dice, blindy. I gotta wear my shades."

"You're going to wear them while we have sex," she stated flatly.

"Well. Yeah, I was planning on it." She rolled her eyes, yanking his hair and getting a yelp as she tugged off his shades and tossed them to the ground, pinning him to the bed. "Mmh, you're damn lucky you're cute," he grunted as she giggled, gripping him through his baggy Knight attire, working his already throbbing erection into near steel-like hardness. "Fuck yes…" She bit down hard on his neck, growling and drawing blood, making him groan and writhe, finally smirking, his blood staining her lips and teeth.

"Terezi," she whispered huskily into his ear.

"Huh?"

"My name is Terezi." She undid her dress and tossed it to the floor, her naked body grinding him uninhibited.

"Oh. Dave." He quickly undid his belt, pulling his trousers down as she gripped him, sliding him in deep.

"Nice to meet you, Dave," she moaned loud, shuddering and pushing down onto his base.

"Man, you are a weird fuckin' chick." She bit him again and he yelped, gripping her hips as she began to ride him, grinding slowly and sitting her body up, pulling nearly all of him out of her but his cockhead before slamming down again, causing them both to cry out, and beginning to repeat this. She rode him for a while, his hands exploring her hips and breasts before grabbing her and throwing her to bed, standing behind her. "You don't want to get pregnant or anything, right?"

"Ooh, Dave, you better be planning what I think you are." Her hands balled into fists, grabbing handfuls of the sheets as he lined himself up, slowly pushing into her ass, causing her to cry out loudly. "Oh shit! Aaah fuck!"

"Calm down, princess," he replied, gathering more of her fluids from her dripping cunt and using it to lubricate himself. "That's it. Relax. Unh…" He grunted and slowly began to pump in and out of her, stretching her as he did so, finally grabbing her long black hair and yanking as he pumped in deep, eliciting a scream from her as her back arched, body trembling. "Shit, you cumming?"

"Shut up and fuck me," she whimpered into the sheets, her body racked with tremors, chest heaving with heavy breath as he grabbed one of her breasts and yanked her hair again, beginning to pump her remorselessly, receiving a loud yelp each time.

"I'm… gonna cum," he growled, gritting his teeth. She nodded hard, wiping her hair from her sweat-caked face and looking back at him, grinning with her blood-stained mouth and white, blind eyes.

"Cum in your blind slut." He reeled, gripping her tight as he peaked, pumping in deep and filling her with his fluids, his noise a choked groan as he pumped harder, shooting rope after rope of cum deep into her ass as she moaned, shuddering and coming down off of her own orgasm. "Fuck that felt good…"

"No kidding," he panted, adjusting his shades and tugging up his pantaloons. "Step one, kill the dragon. Step two, bang some bomb-ass blind chick and take her back as your bride. Sounds like a damn plan to me."

"Wait, you didn't kill Pyralspite, did you?"

"…what no."


	21. Blue is the Warmest Color

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vriska has all the men of the school in the palm of her hand - unfortunately, her crush isn't a man.

**Blue is the Warmest Color  
[One Shot]**

Vriska huffed, resting her head in her hand as she scribbled idly on her notebook. The teacher was talking, but it obviously wasn't a huge deal – she could shake down some kid after class for their notes. Probably Tavros, he was a notoriously good note-taker. Her real problem wasn't the fact that she couldn't pay attention, or even that she was feeling incredibly uncomfortable at the moment, but more the reason behind both problems: she had a crush.

Normally, when she had crushes, she'd simply talk to the boy, seduce him with her wit and charm, or sometimes simply demand that they date her. The latter usually ended in affairs that were less than intimate, and more mechanical and fear-driven, but she got what she wanted nonetheless. This time, however, was different. She was more than capable of either scaring or charming any boy in the school into doing what she wanted. This particular crush she'd have to handle with more… finesse.

"H3Y, VR1SK4," she heard her friend… well, whisper would be a touch too generous. A few others stared, but Vriska's friend didn't seem to notice. She was, after all, blind.

"What, Terezi?" she hissed in response.

"WH4T 4R3 YOU DO1NG TH1S FR1D4Y N1GHT? 3V3RYON3'S GONN4 B3 4T T3H P4RTY." Vriska paused. There WAS a party at Ampora's, wasn't there? She cursed herself for not having planned ahead of time, as she usually did. She'd have to talk to her mother about money for clothes, and that alone was a daunting prospect. But she'd also, very likely, need to bring a date, so that she wouldn't lose her "cool kid" status in the public eye.

"Don't worry, I'll be there," she replied. Terezi scrunched her face up, but cut the conversation short. Vriska frowned down at her notebook, full of scribbles and small drawings of various things – 8-balls, dice, and, of course, her crush's name. She scowled, crossing it out. It was just another passing fancy, she'd have others. She should shoot for someone easier to attain, and one she didn't want to be secret about.

Finally, class ended and she got up, storming from the room, snickering at the "Ouch!" and "Hey, watch it!" of kids being bashed aside by Terezi's walking cane as she entered the hall behind Vriska.

"It's a wonder you can follow me around," Vriska commented as she walked down the hall.

"W3LL YOU 4LW4YS W34R TH3 S4M3 P3RFUM3, S1LLY," Terezi replied offhandedly. Vriska paused, smelling herself. Perhaps she should change it up? Maybe her crush- no, stop it. She had no time for silly crushes. She grumbled quietly to herself as she handled her locker open, stuffing her books inside and getting those for the next class.

"Um, hey, Virska? Er, Vriska?" She spun, wide-eyed, at the girl in the scarf, who looked a bit taken aback.

"Roxy!" Vriska sputtered, almost yelling. "I-I mean, yeah, what do you want?" Fuck, she scolded herself. Be cool, be calm. Don't snap at her.

"Oh, sorry, I was just, like, wonderin' if you had the notes from last class? I didn't take 'em, I sorta fell asleep…" Vriska could smell the alcohol on the poor girl's breath; she had been sleeping off what Vriska assumed was a massive hangover.

"Oh, well, I can get them, certainly. Do you want me to give them to you tomorrow?"

"Well I was hopin' I could get 'em tonight so I could study…"

"Say no more. I'll get them to you by the time school's out. Cross my heart."

"Really? Oh, thanks. You really ain't as bad as everybody says. I'll be back here at the end of the day." Vriska nodded, feeling her face hot. "As bad as everybody says".

"W3LL SH3 S33MS N1C3," Terezi commented.

"Yeah," Vriska replied with a smile.

"W41T. W444441T," Terezi grinned, moving closer.

"Hey, shut up, go to class you blind freak," Vriska replied, shoving Terezi playfully.

"OH MY GOD. OOOOH MY GOD, VR1SK4."

"Look, you can't tell anyone, alright? Maybe I have a little crush, it's whatever. People can't know I have a crush on a girl, okay? It'll be bad for my reputation."

"TH4T'S NOT SO B4D," Terezi said with a thoughtful frown. "1 M34N, 1'V3 SL3PT W1TH 4 F3W G1RLS B3FOR3, S1NC3 YOU H4V3 TO K33P MY S3CR3TS."

"Wait, what? Really?"

"Y34H SUR3, 4 F3W T1M3S."

"How was it?"

"H3H3H3, M4N, YOU R34LLY L1K3 TH3 THOUGHT OF TH1S G1RL." Vriska sighed.

"Yeah, kinda. Can you shake down Tavros between classes? I need those notes by the end of the day."

"SUR3 TH1NG, SP1D3RB1TCH. 1'LL G3T TH3 K1D'S NOT3S 4ND BR1NG '3M B4CK H3R3, 4S LONG 4S YOU G1V3 M3 4LL THE JU1CY D3T41LS OF HOW YOU F33L 4BOUT TH1S ROXY G1RL." Vriska chuckled and shoved Terezi before the two parted ways, Vriska thinking about exactly that.

"Hey, Roxy," Vriska said with a smile, holding up the packet of notes. "Got your notes right here."

"Oh, awesome! Man, this is really gonna help, I just wish I was better at studyin'." She took the notes and sighed, looking over them. "Yeah, it's gonna be a long night."

"Well… what do you have problems with?" Vriska asked, leaning in to look over the notes. The hair along her arms and the back of her neck stood on end, Roxy's scent of alcohol and heavy perfume choking her, forcing into her nostrils and down her throat. It was utterly intoxicating.

"Well, I dunno. Like, I don't really get what the author's tryin' ta say, so it takes me a while to write my reports an' stuff."

"I could, like, come over or something, and maybe we could work through it together. I-if you wanted. We certainly don't have to, I mean, if you think study groups are weird or anything."

"No, no. It'd be nice. I don't really have friends over very often," Roxy smiled. "You wanna just ride with me and my mom when we go home?"

"Sure," Vriska said with a smile, suppressing her blush and following Roxy out to the school parking lot, where her mom had parked an old stationwagon.

" 'Ey mom, I brought a friend home, she's gonna help me study. That okay?"

"Oh, that's quite fine. And what is your name, young lady?"

"Uh, I'm Vriska."

"Very nice to meet you, Vriska. Are you thinking about staying the night, or just helping with Roxy's homework?"

"Probably just the homework," Vriska said, scratching her neck. "I'm not sure if my mom would let me stay out all night."

"Oh, I could certainly talk to her. Roxy needs more friends to hang out with her, she rarely gets the chance out. She often just sits in her room and writes those wiz-"

"Ha, alright mom, how 'bout you focus on drivin'?" Roxy said, kicking her mom's seat hard and causing Vriska to snort. "But nah, you don't gotta stay the night, but it'd be cool. We could take you in to school in the mornin' and all that." Vriska shrugged.

"I guess I can ask my mom," she replied, already pulling out her phone to text her mother. By the time she'd sent it, they'd already arrived at the Lalonde house – a seemingly enormous manor near school, the kind that all the kids thought was haunted. "Oh wow," Vriska muttered. "This place is really big."

"Yeah, don't let that fool ya, we're just normal people," Roxy winked and opened the door for Vriska, leading her inside. Each room was spacious and open, decorated with a few tastefully modern black furniture against a stark white or purple room. "Mom's kinda an interior decorator. She made some of this furniture herself."

"Really?" Vriska asked idly, running her hand over the upholstery of a loveseat. "It's so… wow. Lavish, I guess."

"Yeah, I guess," Roxy admitted, chuckling. "But anyway, how about that Poe." Vriska nodded and sat at a dining room table next to Roxy, as they began to discuss homework. After a while, the conversation turned from homework to friends, to relationships and silly things their friends had done, when finally Ms. Lalonde called them for dinner.

They ate quietly in the kitchen, and Vriska squirmed at the tension. Ms. Lalonde had a wine glass full of red wine that she didn't touch, though she did daintily pick at the spaghetti. Roxy, on the other hand, devoured her spaghetti with vigor, not pausing between bites and simply slurping up the noodles happily and quickly.

Finally, when they were finished, the doorbell rang and Ms. Lalonde returned with a tall, lithe woman and the two girls retreated to Roxy's room, where she produced a bottle of rum.

"Want any?" Roxy asked, unscrewing the top and taking a swig.

"Oh, uh nah, I'm good," Vriska smiled. Roxy shrugged, taking another drink and setting the bottle down. "Who was that lady?"

"That was Ms. Maryam, Porrim's mom. She and my mom have book nights where they just lock themselves in a study and talk about boring books all night. They're pretty lame." Vriska nodded slowly, her mind jumping to something else, but forcing it back to normal. Not all girls are into other girls, Vriska, she told herself. "So what do you wanna do? I don't really have sleepovers often or nothin', so I don't know what to do."

"I don't really either," Vriska replied with a shrug. "I mainly just go to parties and hang out with people and go home. Don't really sleep over too often."

"That's a relief," Roxy grinned, leaning back. "I was worried I was the only one outta her depth." She closed her eyes and rested her head back, and Vriska had to stifle a gasp. She was, for lack of a better word, enchanting. Her hair mussed, her dark blue lipstick smudged by the bottle of rum, and her eyes so blissfully sleepy. She even let her eyes drop to the curves of her chest, hips, and thighs, and they made her squirm with discomfort. "So. Got any fun boy stories?"

"H-huh?"

"Like, I dunno. Girls talk about that kinda stuff, right? What you've done with boys?"

"Oh. I mean, I guess."

"Alright, then. Go." Vriska bit her lip.

"Well, I've slept with a few guys, not many."

"Slept with? Jesus Louise, I haven't done that yet," Roxy laughed. "But I guess you're cooler than me so it makes sense." Vriska scrunched up her face. "Oh come on. Don't even try an' say you ain't cooler than me. You know you are, I know you are – it's cool. I don't need ta be popular or nothin'. I've got cool friends," she grinned and slugged Vriska's shoulder.

"I guess you do," Vriska grinned, flushing lightly. "So. Let's see. You know Dave?"

"Strider?"

"Slept with him."

"Holy shit," she laughed.

"He was… not bad. Had a thing about his shades that was kind of weird, though. I've also slept with Eridan once, as a sort of dare."

"Eww, really?"

"Yeah, he was… less endowed. You know his fancy cars and big talk? Tooooooootal compensation." Roxy giggled. "What about you?"

"Well, I've sorta gone down on Dave," she blushed.

"Really?" Vriska asked, feeling heat travel up her spine.

"Yeah. Like you said, not bad. He went down on me too and it was pretty good. But, like. I dunno. I guess I didn't feel anythin'? I mean, I certainly FELT somethin', if you know what I mean." As Roxy laughed, Vriska felt the heat reach her cheeks. "But, I dunno. Just wasn't doin' it for me."

"Why not?" she felt herself say before she could stop it.

"I dunno," Roxy frowned. "Maybe he just wasn't the right guy?" She paused, meeting Vriska's eyes and stopping mid-sentence, mouth open slightly. "O… or…" Vriska made the first move, stumbling forward and gently resting her hand on Roxy's thigh. "Vriska…"

"Shh," Vriska replied, brushing the hair from Roxy's face.

"I don't… I don't know…" Roxy said, her breath heavy on Vriska's face. Vriska reached behind her, grabbing the bottle of rum and taking a large swig and offering it to Roxy, who nodded graciously and took a few long drinks before crushing her lips to Vriska with a moan, taking her by surprise. Vriska's hands moved to Roxy's face, cupping her cheeks and holding her close. Roxy set the bottle down and pulled Vriska up, not breaking the kiss as they stood and moved to Roxy's bed, Vriska tumbling down onto her back and Roxy hovering over her.

"I've never done this," Roxy panted as she climbed up onto Vriska.

"Neither have I," she sputtered in response. "I… just do what feels good." Roxy bit her lip but nodded, reaching down and rubbing Vriska through her jeans, eliciting an excited whimper as Vriska did the same. The blond girl moved down and ground against Vriska hard, their legs tangling together and tongues exploring the other's mouth as they writhed and whimpered. Finally, Vriska could feel her climax building in her, faster than she'd anticipated, and heard an eager whine from Roxy as well. Vriska gripped Roxy's hair, yanking gently and hissing in her ear. "Don't hold it in, Roxy," she whispered. "Do it. Do it for me. Cum." Roxy's body began to shake and she nearly cried out before remembering her mother was in the house and burying her face in Vriska's chest, body wracked with shakes as Vriska gripped Roxy's hair and tossed her head back, mouth open in a silent scream, her body radiating heat as she thrashed beneath the young girl. The two stayed like that for a moment, both writhing and panting against one another until finally the waves of pleasure subsided and the two settled in, their bodies sweating and spasming gently.

"That… that was…" Roxy started.

"Yeah," Vriska huffed. "Wow." Roxy crawled up next to Vriska, tugging the blankets over them.

"You think this is what girls do at sleepovers?" Roxy giggled, and Vriska laughed.

"I doubt it. But I think if they did they'd have a lot more fun." Roxy nodded, closing her eyes, and Vriska could feel her breath, reeking of rum, on her neck as she nuzzled in. Vriska stared at the ceiling for a moment before letting the event sink in. Fuck. She was going to have to bring Roxy to the party. That was going to put a damper on things. She sighed and let herself fall asleep in Roxy's arms, a problem to consider another day.


	22. Post-Mini-Strife

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "sigh fine lets go out on a date i guess. flippin amazin this tragic scenarios wwhat i been reduced to"

**Post-Mini-Strife**   
**[One-Shot]**

The two sat across the table from one another, Cronus grinning like an idiot. Eridan was still astounded at the resemblance, and while he was a bit young, he really did look like the Dualscar Eridan had seen in Vriska's journals.

"So," Cronus commented dreamily.

"So wwhat."

"Here vwe are," he said with a wide sweep of his arm. Eridan looked around.

"Yeah, so? It's just your hivve."

"Just my-? I vwill hawve you knovw my hiwve is a modern MARVWEL, and I'd prefer you not disrespect it like that. Just cuz you're attractivwe don't giwve you a free pass on insultin' my things!" Eridan watched as Cronus pouted, fins drooping.

"Alright,  _fine_. It has some flair."

"Really?" Cronus asked, perking up.

"Yeah, it's alright, as far as date sopts go. Though I guess I'm not an expert..."

"Me either, man," Cronus sighed. "I mean, I'm so thoughtful, and I care so much about wvhat other people think and say, and I don't understand wvhy no one vwants me in their quadrants!"

"Tell me about it," Eridan puffed, tapping his pointers together. "I tried draggin' my friend outta a red quadrant by tryin' ta go black wwith him once."

"Yeah?" Cronus asked, cocking his head.

"Yup. Used to think me and her wwere moirails but since I sorta killed her she don't wwant nothin' to do wwith me."

"Poor thing," Cronus frowned. "Captor wwas my palemate for a wvhile but that dumb Pyrope told him I 'vwasn't a good influence'."

"Filthy land-dwwellers," Eridan scowled.

"Tell me about it," Cronus said with a sigh. "But hey this is going vwell."

"It wwas until you brought it up again," Eridan grimaced.

"Oh haha, sorry." He was silent for a moment. "So wvanna pail?"

"Wwhat?!"

"Vwhat wvhat."

"You know 'vvwwhat wwvvhat'!"

"...wvwvvwvwhat?"

"No you-! You can't just ask for that kinda thing outta nowwhere!"

"Wvhy not?" Cronus asked, looking genuinely puzzled.

"You're insufferable," ERidan said, shoving away from the table. "I'm GLAD I didn't turn out like you!"

"Vwhoa, hold on, cat. Maybe I vwas out of line hitting you wvith that so suddenly," he moved to Erdian, running his fingers behind Eridan's fins making him stiffen. "But you ain't gotta run off. Right?"

"I- ooh..." Eridan sighed at the pleasant feeling. "Wwell... maybe not yet..."

"There wve go. Here, sit." Eridan took his seat as Cronus's fingers worked along Eridan's sensitive neck and gills. "Feels good, right?"

"Ooh yeah," Eridan sighed, letting his eyes close. Suddenly, he felt lips on his and his eyes shot open as he jumped back. "Wwha-!?"

"Wvhat? Sorry, sorry, thought vwe had something going," Cronus grinned, scratching the back of his head. Eridan stared dumbfounded before storming out. "Good idea!" Cronus called after him. "Get into something more comfortable for pailing wvhile I clean up!" He closed the door. "Cronus Ampora... you hawve a vway vwith wvords." He grinned and began to prepare.


	23. The Best Part of Waking Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on the wildly popular Folgers holiday commercial

[ **The Best Part of Waking Up** ](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CCAQyCkwAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Dz5Ir6CzxKl4&ei=S22KVO_yEIT7yATw7oCADQ&usg=AFQjCNECXYJeV4Tvh28jv1ct-vr5evamtA&sig2=dg1_UyY-G4h9HxAzWwJXRg&bvm=bv.81456516,d.aWw)

**_[Continuous Series: Cascading]_ **

Looking out the window, Dave could see the figure closing the taxi door and grabbing her bags. He smiled, moving from the window through the living room to the front door, swinging it open just as the figure rose her fist to knock. She grinned, cocking her hip as she observed him.

“I must have the wrong house,” she commented.

“Brother!” he said, gesturing toward himself, as they embraced. _Brother?_ he thought. _That’s what I came up with? It’s been years and the first thing I think of to say is “brother”? She’s not my brother, I’m her brother, I should’ve said sister, I’m so fucking stupid_. “I missed you so much,” he said, moving aside so she could come in, setting her bags by the door as they made their way into the kitchen. “I waited up all night for you, you know,” he said, leaning against the counter as she smiled, stepping into the kitchen.

“It’s a long way from New York,” she replied, glancing over and moving to the coffeepot. “Oh thank goodness – real coffee.” She smiled, grabbing a mug from the cabinet and pouring herself a glass as Dave watched her, observing her figure up and down. It had been a long, long time since he’d seen her, and she sure had changed. She leaned against the table and smiled.

“I brought you something,” she said, picking a package up off the ground and setting it on the table. “From far away.”

“Really?” he chuckled, taking it. He turned the package over before removing the bow, crossing the room and sticking it to Rose’s chest.

“What are you doing?” she laughed.

“You’re my present this year,” he said softly. She blushed, her eyes down toward her cup of Folgers™ Classic Roast coffee. Dave swallowed his fear, taking her hand in his, meeting her eyes as he lowered her cup of Folgers™ to the counter and pressing forward, his lips meeting hers. Her eyes were conflicted, studying his face, her lips tasting like bitter coffee. She finally conceded, her lips parting and her tongue darting out to meet his.

He pressed his body to hers, her arms wrapping around him and pulling him in closely, tightly. _They hadn’t seen each other in years,_ he told himself. _Fucking sell it._

“God I’ve missed you,” he gasped as he broke the kiss, moving to her neck and nibbling softly along the flesh there, making her chuckle deep in her throat.

“Mm, have you? What did you miss?”

“The way you look,” he said after a beat. “The way you smell.” She purred and leaned her head back as his lips and tongue moving along her chest as she yanked her shirt off over her head, unfastening her bra as he fondled her breasts. “Man, I missed these…”

“Did you? I know you stared at your younger sister a lot, didn’t you?” she teased, curling her fingers in his hair. He simply grunted in response, his mouth moving from one nipple to the other, sucking and nibbling hard, causing her to coo and grunt, tugging him closer.

“Come on,” he whimpered, his fingers moving to her jeans and rubbing through the denim, causing her to jerk lightly. “Give it to me,” he hissed.

“But big brother,” she replied, pouting. “You don’t want to take things slow?” He growled and threw her to the ground, climbing over her and yanking at her jeans, making her grin and claw the tile until his fingers found purchase, ripping them free from her, tearing his own off quickly. “You really are taking things fast,” she chuckled as he pushed her legs up to her chest.

“Shut it, little sister,” he replied, pushing into her with one swift motion. She cried out, shuddering around him in her first small orgasm. “Did you…?” She nodded and bit her lip and he smirked, pumping into her faster, deeper, causing her to cry out and grunt, her bare back against the tiled kitchen floor. He pumped into her over and over, his shades askew, hair caked to his brow with sweat.

“Fuck, Dave…” she panted, feeling a bead of her own sweat running down her back.

“Brother,” he replied, correcting her. _Fuck, AGAIN?_ She smirked, seemingly reading his mind, and he pushed into her harder, wiping her grin away, replacing it with an agonizing gasp.

“Do it,” she moaned and he picked her up, sitting her on the counter.

“I’m not ready,” he grunted, holding her hips and pounding away.

“Please, Dave,” she whimpered, grinding against him hard before pulling out and sliding down his body. “Do it, now.”

“Rose…”

“Now!” she yelled, eyes closed and he cried out, coating her face and chest-

-in Folgers™ brand Classic Roast coffee.

“DAVID STRIDER!” she demanded, standing and wiping her nude body of the coffee as the dream bubble wavered around them and he collapsed to the ground laughing. “We were having a moment and you had to go and do that. How did you even do that?”

“It’s a dream, Rose,” he replied, wiping some of the coffee from his dick and tasting it. “Yup. Definitely Classic Roast. That’s fucking great.”

“That’s not ‘fucking great’, that’s awful. You’re awful and you ruined the moment.”

“Hey, I told you I wasn’t ready, ‘little sister’,” he replied, slugging her arm. “You gotta be more patient, wait things out. You’ll get what you want if you’re patient.” She huffed and he rolled his eyes, moving in close and kissing her hard. “Come on. Don’t be like that.”

“I wanted this to end well,” she pouted.

“Yeah, well, sometimes your ecto-brother isn’t ready to cum during your incestuous parody of a coffee commercial, okay?” He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Look, I’m already worked up. Do you want to run the whole thing again and MAYBE I can get off when you want me to, you shrewd needy bitch?” Her eyes lit up.

“Really? You’d do that for me?”

“Yeah, yeah, just set it up.” She grinned, fuzzing out of existence as the house rebuilt around him, his clothes back on and standing by the window. Looking out the window, Dave could see the figure closing the taxi door and grabbing her bags.

_**Be sure to check the[Table of Contents](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2506946/chapters/5567219) for news on when I'm updating next!** _


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